Clear Slate - Musings Of A Cluttered Mind

In Memoriam - Mumbai 26-11

2009-11-28T22:11:00.001+05:30

One of the images that will live for ever in my memory is that of dome of “The Taj” in Mumbai burning for well over sixty hours in that fateful late November. One year has gone by since that nightmare played itself on television screens across the world. One year passed by, but still those memories linger fresh in memory, as if they occurred just a few days back. Such was the sequence of events that it would remain etched in the hearts and minds of every Indian.

This week we commemorated the first anniversary of that dastardly attack on Mumbai – rather India. I would call that attack more an attack on India than an attack on Mumbai. Mumbai for me represents everything that India is. Clearly the most cosmopolitan of Indian cities, it represents the India that is rapidly growing full of opportunities, the India which is a growing world power, the India which is absolutely diverse, the India where there is a sharp discrepancy between the rich and the poor, the India where the collective soul of the nation erupts in joy in moments of triumph and burst out in tears in moments of disaster. These attacks essentially were an attack on what I would call the “Concept of India”. It was important as a nation for us triumphs over this moment of attack on the nation, and triumph we did – all be it that it took well over 60 hours to defeat those ten terrorists.

It’s an accepted fact that the nation’s intelligence forces failed in acting properly to the leads, which eventually resulted in that horrific incident. Lots of analysis has happened on this, and for sure it would happen in the future as well. But what is important is that even if it was a few days, the nation stood as one, prayed for the fallen and the hostages, hated the attackers, and hoped for an early resolution. Someone once said – there are only two things that connect the soul of whole of India – cricket and an attack on the nation. It was clearly evident during this incident.

I still remember that night. There was India vs England ODI that night, and I was watching the game along with AR at his place. India was on route to a 5-0 win in that seven match series, and we were delighted about it. Once the match got over, it was time for the analysis. The ardent cricket fan that I am, I watch the post match analysis as well when India wins. That’s one aspect of mine that AR hates, and realizing that there isn’t much of a hope waiting for me, he went ahead doing his work. During one of the commercial breaks of the review program, I was channel browsing, I reached a news channel that was giving some breaking news. Breaking news at 10 in the night is always important; hence I started following it. They were reporting of some shooting that is happening at the Taj in Mumbai, and was suspecting a gang war. I decided to follow it for a couple more minutes till the match analysis resumes after the commercial break, and then was the next breaking news – there are reports of multiple shootings across Mumbai, and the channel folks were calling it a terrorist attack rather than some gang wars of the Mumbai underworld.

That literally brought a chill to spine; and even now it’s a terrible feeling thinking about it. AR came back to watch TV, and we were silently watching terror unfolding itself right in front of our eyes on TV. I don’t exactly remember if we talked at all while watching that. To be honest, we were shocked. It took us some while for us to come to terms with the gravity of the situation. There was anger; there was sorrow; and there was hatred towards the people who were doing this. We had friends in Mumbai; I was worried about their safety. Tried calling them, but by then all the telephone lines were overloaded with anxious people calling their near and dear ones. A silent prayer for their safety, and we were back to watching the terror live on TV. We went on watching the same all night; sadly it was showing no signs of ending. We saw confusion, pandemonium, over enthusiastic journalists, despair, hope, distraught and elation – all happening simultaneously.

Sadly the wait for the sequence of events to end went on for well over two days; so did the agony and the anger. Lots of questions are to be answered by lots of people responsible for ensuring that this sort of incident never occurs. In all the gloom and doom that engrossed the nation as this sequence of events unfolded itself, there were moments of bravery that should never be forgotten - the brave cops of Mumbai, the commandos of NSG who fought the terrorists, the common man who came out to help a co-Mumbaikar in need, the railway station announcers who saved lives of hundreds at the CST braving the bullets, the firemen who didn’t hesitate to get into the flames, the nanny who risked her life to save a baby boy, and lots of others… They all represented the collective will of the nation, willing to sacrifice anything to reclaim our nation – which we momentarily lost to these proponents of terror. For us as a nation, we have lots of short comings. There are more things wrong about this system than what is right. It’s a young nation, and it needs to be given some time for it to grow. But one thing that is there for sure is unflinching love and affection for our country; our belief in the concept of India.

There is one face that I would never forget - that of baby Moshe coming out alive from the Jewish Chabad in Nariman House – wrapped in the arms of his nanny Sandra Samuel, whose bravery was unparallel. The tears that was there in his eyes when he came out of the building represented the tears that this nation had remembering those who lost their lives in this attack. The sunshine smile that he had once he realized that things are safe represents the hope that we Indians have in our futures. Even in times of despair, we never loose hope. Probably this is what they call as “spirit”. Let that hope which that there in that innocent smile of Moshe, drive us in this war against these tyrants who use terror as a weapon; because this is a war which we cant afford to loose…

Déjà vu

2009-11-25T00:53:00.000+05:30

I was going out to collect some cloths given for laundry in the evening. I had to take a rickshaw, and unsurprisingly there was none around at that point of time. That’s oh so normal – isn’t it? When you want to do something, or when you want something, that particular aspect never happens. After a wait for about ten minutes, finally a rickshaw came. All of a sudden I was feeling extremely uncomfortable. Some images were flashing in my mind; giving me some nerve tickles. The rickshaw driver came to me, and I looked at his face. That created more troubles for me; because I had seen this before – this person, this sequence of events. Slowly but surely I realized that I was going through what they call as a “Déjà vu”. I had seen these things earlier – in a dream; long back.

I grew anxious as moments passed by. Every second seem to pass on like an eternity. The discomfort levels were just going up. Was I feeling suffocated? I don’t know. They say it’s a great feel when you see the future. But its definitely not a great feel, when you had a dream, and it re-enacts itself in real life. Especially if you are in the habit of having bad dreams quite often as I do. I started asking myself – what was the end of this sequence in the dream? Was it a bad one or a good one? Even after persistent efforts I was not able to get an answer. That just increased my tension. All the while, the rickshaw driver was staring at me. At least ten-twenty had gone bye, since our eyes met. He was wondering what was happening with me. Finally he asked me where I wanted to go. I was still roaming around to find an answer to that question – how did the dream end? Once I heard his voice, I came back from my thoughts to the present world, and mentioned the place I was supposed to go. He agreed and I got inside.

My mind was still turbulent. I still didn’t have the answer, and I started worrying about the outcome. My apprehensions about this sequence of events led me to break that sequence. I just shook my head and told myself that I need to break this sequence. Out of no where I broke it by deciding to call one of my friends. That part for sure was not in the dream. For a moment, I felt relieved inside that I had broken that particular sequence; and at least the sequence of events now won’t have some of those bad endings that I generally see in the dreams.

Its fairly complicated – the way our minds work. This is not the first time that a déjà vu has happened to me. I never understood why that happens either. Why do we dream of things that eventually happen frame-by-frame? I don’t know… Maybe our minds are a lot more powerful than what we expect it to be…

Innocence...

2009-11-18T22:07:00.000+05:30

It’s been quite some time since I have updated my blog. My laziness, hectic times at office, a new family life – everything contributed to it I guess. Over the past week or so, that feeling within to write something has been there. For one reason or the other, it never materialized in actual writing. And then came this Wednesday evening. I decided to leave office early [my early is 6:30 in the evening, as I am as they call its LALD – Late Arrival Late Departure guy in office] since it had been drizzling outside. The worst thing you want is to be stuck in traffic while its raining. The roads in Bangalore are notoriously bad when it rains.

As I got into the bus home, there was this mother and a daughter sitting next to me. She must have been at max 5 years old. Its always real fun when you have a kid who is a bit cheeky and open. I gave a big smile on her as I sat next to her. She took her face away and looked at her mummy, as if to complain about the uncle sitting next to her gave her a smile. The mummy looked at her, and then at me, and gave me a smile. I smiled back at her. I guess the kid saw that, and in her mind she must have decided that the uncle sitting next to her is not that dangerous a person – after all, her mummy smiled at me. Its amazing how much a kid derives his or her thoughts from the mother. Forget kids, even grown ups do the same – don’t they? Atleast I do…

What followed was a very tentative smile – as if asking me a question – “Would you smile back at me if I smile at you?” My answer was very predictable – I gave her one big smile. She was happy with that I guess. And then she went back to playing with some toy that she had in her hand. Every once in a while, she would peep at me, check out if I am still watching her or not, and pass out that innocent smile of hers. This went on for the entire duration of my travel. When the bus reached my stop, I stood up ready to get out; she stared at me – as if to ask – “where are you going? I am doing all of this just for you”. I had to get out; so I waved my hands, and realizing the inevitable, she also waved hers…

As I walked towards my house, I couldn’t stop myself marvel at how innocent these kids are – a smile makes us feel that we are the most lucky ones, a frown forces us to revisit all the things that we did to the kid, a laugh makes you realize how simple the world is… yet all of us make ourselves to believe that we live in a very complex world full of problems.. I do as well… I am pretty sure that while I was a five year old, I would have been like this kid – smiling innocently at everyone. Where did I loose that innocence and charm? In the hustle and bustle of life, I got lost. Guess I would give up anything to get back that innocence – that ability to smile and let the worries in life pass by…

When Tears Roll Down...

2009-07-24T16:53:00.006+05:30

Recently there was a discussion amongst my friends on what was the most emotional scene in a movie that made one cry. Lots of scenes came up for discussion, and me being brought up with a constant staple diet of emotionally charged Malayalam movies, found most of them just “theatrical”. But then someone said about the song “Meri Maa” from the movie Taare Zameen Par. Its been almost two years since the movie got released; but still the movie evokes tones of emotional overturns in everyone’s minds. I too had to admit that it was indeed one of the most touching scenes on a movie screen. People started recollecting their experiences while watching that song. One said that his macho instincts told him not to cry [for him crying is an entirely feminine trait], but was shocked to feel tears rolling down his cheeks. Another said he tried not to cry all the way, but then when this song came, he could no longer hold back his tears. He looked around in the movie hall just to see the all the people sitting next to him cry, after which it seems he let himself cry as well. He is certain that those tears well worth leaving, as it released a whole lot of pressure from within himself. The stories sounded similar for all of us while watching that song, but one thing was common – all of us cried at that moment, giving up the entire so-called male ego.

I too had a similar story to tell. Think it was the beginning of 2008 when I went for this movie at PVR, Bangalore. It was one of the last films that I went along with my best buddies AR and AJ [after a few months AJ decided to go overseas, thereby ending what was one of the most important activity amongst us friends – going for movies together]. We knew that this was a very emotional movie; and wanted to test our tear-threshold. All of us started watching the movie, and this song comes up somewhere in the mid-way of the movie. There were plenty of emotional scenes in that movie till that point, but all of us were successful not to let our tears out [we were keeping a tight vigil on each other to catch anyone crying]. And then this scene came. AJ’s brother who had seen this movie earlier had warned us that this scene is going to be very difficult to handle. And indeed difficult it was. It created an overwhelming wave of emotions inside me, like a tsunami in all its fury trying vent upon a coast. I could sense my eyes getting watery; but was not ready to get it corrected with my hands – as that would be a clear indicator that I am crying for AR and AJ. I tried withholding my tears; but deep inside I knew I was waging a loosing battle. And finally it broke the banks… a stream of tear came out of my eyes. I wiped them off with my hands in spontaneity. Only while wiping, I remembered the word amongst us. I was caught; and have lost out on the bet.

Now that I have cried, the next thing that came into my mind was to see if AR and AJ too have tears rolling down. If that happens, it would be a case where no one has won the battle. I was sitting between the two of them, and as I looked towards AJ, the answer came to me immediately “Don’t look at me”. I realized that he too was crying; ditto with AR as well. So the scene managed to break the banks for all three of us. I was relieved within to realize that I was not the only one who cried; and went back watching that song. That scene indeed was one very touchy one – especially the flip-book scene.

Many a times after that I had asked myself, why is that scene so heart-breaking. Almost always I came to an answer that it reminded us about our mothers. As we live in Bangalore away from our parents, the hectic work schedule used to hide that pain of being away from our parents; and when this song came up along with the lyrics, it wedged a sword of agony through our hearts. Indeed, our mothers are the ones with whom we are most attached. The umbilical chord that connects the mother and her baby surprisingly stays all through our lives – all be it in an invisible mode.

Hire Me

2009-07-23T14:09:00.007+05:30

Many a times we throw our hands up when we see that things are not happening the way we want it to happen. We get disappointed and dejected, curse and abuse our fate, and reduce ourselves into some sort of a shell. This is particularly true these days where the entire world seems to be filled with doom and gloom over the economy – businesses being shut, jobs being lost through layoffs. Most of us would know about someone or the other who has had to suffer through these bad times – in terms of loosing a job, or in terms of a drastic reduction in the income. Sometimes, we ourselves may be the victim of the situation. Invariably, the people affected by this get into some sort of a shell – something from where they are not at all keen to get out of – mostly defined by an after thought on how the society would look up to them once they have lost a job. There is that air of negativity everywhere.

Those are the times when we well and truly venture out in search of something positive. Those are the times when we feel that anything non-negative is good – because the entire world seems to be filled with negativity. And when you get to see something very positive, you get absolutely thrilled. It’s a “feel good” factor more than anything else. I got something like that today. During one of the routine visits over the news sites, I came across a news item where someone had created his resume in the form of a music video. The name of this chap is Alec Biedrzyicki. I dug a bit about this chap over the internet. According to him, this is a way to be different from the rest of the pack. Whatever be the reason, I absolutely loved it – its refreshing. Hopefully his search for a job gets materialized soon. The world wants more people with his optimism and wits to get ourselves out of the rut that all of us find ourselves in…

The youtube video of Alec's resume:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot4K-KCLAqs

Brilliant work Alec!!!

An Interesting Questionaire

2009-07-20T16:26:00.004+05:30

While blog rolling, I came across this questionaire. Thought it would be interesting answering this; and it indeed was interesting!!!

1. How did you get this name? Do you like your name?
My parents got my name out for me. Was too young those days to get a name that liked J. I had apprehensions about my name while at school; especially when there were a lot more names that sounded very aesthetic. But then I realized that I am nothing if I didn’t have this name. Slowly started liking it as years went by; so much so that these days I love it. Since my name is usually used as a pet name, and not an actual name, I do have troubles in explaining to others that this indeed is my actual name…

2. When was the last time you cried?
I do that every once in a while – especially the eyes getting wet part. But the last time tears actually rolled from my eyes was when my best buddy decided to leave India.

3. Do you like your hand writing?
I like it; but I guess others don’t… he he he.. At least my dad feels that my hand writing is bad; especially since its small in size. He says everyone finds it difficult to read them. Are all things small bad??

4. Favourite lunch?
Since I hail from Kerala, and me being an unstoppable non-vegetarian, the answer to this question is quite obvious. Bit of the so-called “boiled rice” and any kind of meat. I do prefer the vegetarian meals called the ‘Sadya” as well once in a while!!!

5. If you were someone else, will you befriend with you?
I hope I would. If I don’t, who would?? The reputation of mine that runs around is pretty bad

6. Do like to take a dip in the river/ ocean?
Hmm… Refreshing!!!

7. What do you observe when you first see a person?
Depends on the sex of that person I guess!!!

8. What is that you like/dislike in your spouse?
Oh man, I am going to get into trouble with my girl answering this. The easier one first… What do I like in her – I like her smile, her presence, her persona, her ability to still come back and say “Love You” no matter what I did, those squeezes on my forearms while watching a movie and a horror scene comes up, etc... etc.... Now the difficult part – what I dislike about her – I hate it when she turns on the TV to watch those stupid serials and the hopelessly bad Indian reality shows while I want to tune to some news or sports, when I get to see some of the dishes cooked for dinner that I absolutely hate and she absolutely love, when she forces me to wear a shirt [ironically I hate wearing them] when I had decided to wear a t-shirt… etc… etc…

9. Whose absence you miss, most?
Obvious answer. Its just been a couple of months since I got married. Hence the time has not reached when my answer to the above question would change J I miss her when she is not around for an extended duration of time. And when she is around, the person whom I miss quite a lot is my best buddy who is out of the country. Man I still miss you quite a lot!!!

10. What are you wearing when you write this?
T-shirt and jeans

11. What are you watching/ listening now?
Watching my computer screen as of now. I still need to look into the monitor/key board while typing… he he he. Listening to the songs from the Hindi movie New York. Love those songs – especially the happy song – “Hai Junoon” and the sad song “Tu ne Jo na kaha”. Would have heard these two songs atleast 25 times from the morning today as there are only these two songs in my play list, and they just keep repeating!!!

12. If you were to change into a colourful pen (ink), which colour would you choose?
Blue – the royal color. Love it!!!

14. Which fragrance you like?
Smell after the first rain…

15. What are the qualities, you like in the bloggers you are going to invite ?
I believe in inclusiveness… Hence I am happy to have anyone and everyone come over and read the stuff that I write. After all, only they realize the torture they endure while reading them…

16. What is that you like in the blogger who has sent you this?
I don’t know that person. I accidentally stumbled upon this while blog-rolling. Thought it would be fun answering them…

17. Favorite sport?
Bad question to ask to an Indian; obvious answer as well – cricket. Love it… As they said in one of those ads – eat cricket, sleep cricket, dream cricket. Supports the Indian cricket team through to the hilt – an eternal [foolish] optimist when it comes to Indian cricket. Even from hopeless situations in a match, I try to imagine hypothetical scenarios where by India can win the match.

18. Do you wear spectacles?
Yes I do… Have a bad short sight. Recently changed the model since my friends suggested that I look very old fashioned in the spectacles that I used to wear.

19. What kind of movie you like?
Serious ones. I hate these crappy and crass low grade comedies…

20. Last Movie?
New York - starring John Abraham, Katrina Kaif and Neil Nitin Mukesh. Watched it over the weekend. Absolutely loved it.

21. Favourite Season?
Monsoons. They are the most romantic of all seasons according to me!!!

22. Which book are you reading?
A book on UFO and alien abduction. Love reading these para-normal stuff!!

23. How often you change the picture in your desktop?
Very rarely… Too lazy to do all these things.

24. The noise you like/ dislike?
Noise I like – any music; Noise I dislike – honking in the road

25. What is unique about you?
I am not sure… Nothing I guess. I am like anyone else.

26. What is that you cannot accept?
Cheating…

27. The devil in you?
How dare you expect a devil in this angel???

28. What is your favorite vacation spot?
Coorg. They call it the Scotland of the East; and its absolutely correct. This place is heaven especially after the monsoons – with all those greenery around. Love going here every once in a while!!!

29. What do want to be?
Myself. I am pretty happy with what I am

30. What is that you want to do, without the knowledge of your spouse?
Haven’t done anything so far… But its an interesting proposition isn’t it? Definitely worth a try.

31. One liner on life?
Be happy… Life is too short to remain engulfed in sorrow

When Perceptions Differ

2009-07-10T13:54:00.001+05:30

Blogging can at times be a bit too dangerous… just like what I got to know. My wife [jeez… I am used to writing it as “my girl”; now its “my wife” – she has got a promotion] kind of follows my blog on a regular basis. Off late she had been asking me why I haven’t written anything for a long duration of time. This happened before the posting of my previous post. I didn’t tell it to her as well that I have a new one posted. Today morning, she said to me that she has read my new blog. I gave her an “hmm…” and waited for the next part from her. This is the time when I get to hear all the comments about the blog. My wait extended a bit more than what was usual; and then I fired a look to her as if saying – “Come on, what’s next… how was it??” All I got in return was a stare…. And when my stare persisted for a bit longer; she retorted “what have you written in the blog… For anyone reading that blog, it would sound as if you have sacrificed a whole lot of things; and given up a whole lot of stuff for living with me”; and then she turned back and went ahead with her “getting ready to office” part.

The immediate thought that went through me was – what did I write so badly that she felt so very offended? I didn’t have any response to her either. So I took the obvious option out – I went ahead and read my previous post. This was a first of its sort… I have never ever read anything that I have written in my blog. While reading that post, I realized how tough it is on people who read it… [Thanks to all who seem to have enormous patience to go ahead and read my blog]. Dissection of each individual lines in that post followed. I completed reading it once… didn’t find anything objectionable in that post; and said the same to Amms. She was getting livid with my response – no sign of any remorse!!! So she made me read that passage again; this time she sat along with me while reading it. She took serious exception at the statement “Its some sort of a culture shock at times; where you are made to believe that you were wrong the way you are” in that post. I thought about it again; still I didn’t find anything wrong in that; nor did I feel that the above statement echoed a sentiment that I have to sacrifice lots of things in my married life. All I could give was a bland look to her face. I guess that irritated her more; and she just walked away.

My next attempt was to see if that line indeed was offensive or not… My repeated attempts ended in the negative, as I couldn’t find any offense in that line. My intention of writing that line was that, there is a significant difference in the way I do things these days. Maybe the meaning got a bit implicit behind those lines; and that was why she interpreted it that way. Perceptions do matter – don’t they? The same line got interpreted in two different ways – absolutely divergent… Since we had decided amongst ourselves not to carry forward any of the differences in opinion; we left the issue there; and proceeded to our offices!!!

Back...

2009-07-03T23:35:00.001+05:30

I am back to the blogging world after a bit of a gap. Marriage and the efforts to settle down as a “family-man” took so much of my time that some of the things that I would do regularly took a back seat – blogging being one of them. The life changes completely after marriage. I never believed in that when my newly married friends would tell me. But as in many other cases, experience makes you think other ways. There is a new perspective to everything you do. And then, this is one big exploration to unchartered territory. One tends to associate weirdness to everything that happens – because whatever you used to do earlier, doesn’t seem to be the right thing to do all of a sudden. Its some sort of a culture shock at times; where you are made to believe that you were wrong the way you are. All of a sudden, the things that would by default be the ones that would give you happiness, becomes something that your partner doesn’t really appreciate. It’s more of a tug-of-war – between you in the past and you in the present. And in this uncanny human behavior of adjusting to the new environment, you end up giving up whole lot things that you wanted to do. Probably that’s the nature of life. Its been too little a time for me to make a judgment on whether all these changes that I have enforced to myself is good or bad. Maybe in the long run it ends up being a good decision…

6 Days To Go - Hectic Times

2009-05-11T14:07:00.005+05:30

Its been a bit too hectic these days. So much so that I had to break my word of continuing with the countdown. The last thing that you want when you are getting ready for marriage is for the stuff in office to go bad. Out of no where, while I was thinking that I would be having a reasonably easy passage through to my wedding, came this big development – I was put into a short term project. The problem of being in a short term project is that you are always on the firing line. Deliveries, meetings, schedules, deadlines… everything seems to be a bit too clustered for comfort. So in my quest to be ready in time for the “big wedding”, I got into overdrive with my office stuff. Lots of things got de-prioritized. Probably, blogging was one of the victims.

Things are going smoothly towards the wedding. Almost all the shopping is done. The only thing remaining is the wedding ring. My mom would say, that’s the most important thing in the entire wedding process. I am to reach Cochin on Thursday. They jeweler told that he needs the ring size by Monday to get the ring in place by Saturday – Jeez, that’s just a day before the wedding. So I and AR went to one jeweler to get the size of my ring finger. I was told that it was 22. When I told that to mom, she refused to accept it – her argument is that Amms has it as 11, so its not possible for me to have it doubled. I didn’t understand the relationship between the ring finger sizes of me and her. But then, strange are the ways moms think. :) My “costume” for the wedding was decided. Despite my opposition to be coming in a suit, I had to buy one – a navy blue one of it with a white shirt and a red tie. I somehow feel I would look like a clown in that attire – all be it that I am too much averse to be seen in formal attire. I am one of those who would be more than happy to go to office in say the three-quarters and a t-shirt. A person like that is to come out in extremely formal attire. Should be some fun – I was talking about the people who would be watching me in that format. For me its gonna be some sort of a torture – multiple reasons – for once, I hate being in a dress like that; secondly, its damn hot and humid in Cochin now. I would most probably be in “sweat” mode all through the wedding.

Amms has gone back to her house to get ready for the big day. Guess the girls have a whole lot more to do than guys for the wedding. Every time I call her, she seems to be busy in something or the other – activities including taking up a crash course in cooking from her mom [its “learn cooking in seven days” for her; after all she needs to impress everyone in my family with her cooking skills], meeting up with her friends [what would they be discussing??? :)], make herself look better [after all she is the heroine of the movie on the big day] and many others. To my surprise, I realized that she is actually reading this blog as well once in a while – and when she asked me why there has been no updates in the blog for quite some time; I was kind of – eh eh… there is one committed reader… :) Now that I have found one committed reader, I decided to fulfill that reader’s wish. Or in other words, I would say that as any other male, when your love puts forward a query, you invariably end up doing it – no matter h busy you are. “Fundamental Male Behavior” – I would call it that way.

Its been “meeting up with friends time” for me as well. Since it was the last weekend of my “singleton status”, we [AR, SH, MS and me] decided to have a small getto in the evening at my place. After all, amongst these folks, only AR had seen my place. So this would come in perfectly as a “multi-purpose” getto – both as a get together and an official invite to all my best buddies to my place. MS couldn’t make it for some reason or the other; so it was left with the rest of us. We decided to cook at my place; and then the confusion started on what we should be cooking. Finally we decided to make some biryaani. The cooking was done in a couple of hours; and then the three of us sat on dinner. Its been a long time since something like that has happened. We talked and talked and talked – about everything that is happening to us. Little did we realize that it was almost midnight. No one wanted to stop that; because no one was sure when would be the next time we would get to do something like this. The fact that we had to go to office put an end to the discussions and chatter. And as I waved my hands saying good bye to them, I couldn’t stop myself from wondering how lucky I am to have these folks around…

15 Days To Go - I Said I Do

2009-05-03T09:21:00.004+05:30

This was supposedly the day I would say “I do”; and I did say the same. So I am officially engaged. Probably the first step towards the process of marriage. The day started as early as six in the morning for me with the customary visit to the church for a mass. Then it was time to get ready. Relatives started coming in one after the other. One thing that is very peculiar about weddings or its associated functions is that it brings a smile into everyone’s face no matter what. So was the case with me. The smile that had vanished yesterdady on my lips reappeared yesterday.

Then started the process of getting ready for the function. As I was about to change, my brother popped up and said not to wear the shirt, as the “activity” of wearing the shirt had to be captured in the video… he he he. Sounds strange, isn’t it? Your actions are all of a sudden defined by the videographers. So I waited for them to arrive; and then changed; or should I say I acted wearing it. And then had to strike a few pose in front of the camera; I guess it was sufficient for creating a decent portfolio for some modeling assignment. The made me sit in weird poses; create impossible angles. The only thing that I could do was to laugh at myself. Where was I – the perennial cynic for these kind of things; now falling in line doing things that I hated all the while… One round of seeking blessings from the people present there; and a bit of prayers; I was all set to go – for my big betrothal…

We were to travel to Amms’s church for this function. So the travel started through the crowded roads of Chin. This maynot be Delhi, Mumbai or Bangalore when it comes to the sheer size of the city. But when it comes to traffic snarls this city is second to none. There were times when we thought that we might not reach the church in time. But for a change, luck didn’t desert us. We reached the church on time; so much so that Amms and family hadn’t reached. So we waited… After almost ten minutes, they came. I could get the first glimpse of Amms as she was sitting in the front seat of the car. She looked stunning in the red sari of hers.

And then the official function started. This was part of the function where the church officially asks for the bride and the groom’s consent to get married. So the priest asked me the same; and my answer was “I do”. The same question was asked to Amms. Her answer was the same. So the priest officially notified the process.. So here we are… waiting to get married!!!

16 Days To Go - Where Did My Smile Go?

2009-05-01T18:26:00.004+05:30

Tomorrow is my big betrothal; and everyone is asking where my smile has disappeared? I try to smile; but cant. Its as if someone has stitched my lips together. Mom got worried and asked me if things are all fine. She asked me to forget about everything at office assuming that reason behind my sober face and missing smile is some tensions in the office. I told her that things are all fine; and its just a feeling in her that I am not all right. I thought to myself why I am not able to have a smile to myself. I tried to figure out when exactly the smile disappeared from my face. I was happy yesterday night as I fell asleep watching one of my favorite teams in the IPL – the Chennai Superkings winning a game. But then, when did I loose it?

I guess I lost it in the morning when I saw my brother telling me that his friends would come over in the evening to my place. More than anything else, it’s as a part of being with me and my brother in my hour of happiness. At that point of time, my brother asked me if how many of my friends are coming in the evening so that he can plan things accordingly. I hate to think that part of things. I had not told my brother earlier that none of them would be coming across today; or for that matter for this function. Then I had to tell him that no one would be around for the evening. An inadvertent and unintentional comment came from him – “how come all of your so-called best friends decided to skip such an important function”? I well and truly didn’t have an answer to that, and just gave him a wry smile. These kinds of moments very rarely happen, when I am absolutely short of words. My brother realized that I was in a tight corner on this and that my mood has changed on this, he made a deliberate effort to change the subject. But the damage was already done. The smile had vanished; and all my efforts to bring it back were all becoming fruitless.

There are certain things that we take for granted – don’t we? For example, you do expect your best friends to be around you in your moment of joy. Those of the moments that makes relationships very memorable. It really hurts first when you realize that the things that you actually took for granted are no longer the same; and second when you have to confront questions from others. Right now friends of my dad, mom and my brother have come over to my place; but I have no one to show as mine. I guess we don’t always get things to go our way. There are times in our lives when we need to just go the way the things go…

All the shopping in both the families seems to have ended. I got a new pair of shoes for tomorrow. I and my brother went for buying it. We do have this unique problem – whatever I like, invariably he doesn’t like; and whatever he likes, I don’t like. So hunting for a pair of shoes, we hopped from one shop to another. And after almost two hours of shop hopping, we finally managed to get one – a pair of cut shoes. I generally don’t like cut shoes. But this time I went along with my brother’s choice. Amms also finished her final shopping for tomorrow. Now it’s the wait for the big day to arrive…

People will start coming in soon. I guess it doesn’t make too much of sense for me to be in front of the laptop, given that I am supposedly one of the stars of the show. So all set for tomorrow – the second most important day for me in the marriage process…

17 Days To Go - Home Sweet Home

2009-04-30T12:48:00.005+05:30

After the overnight journey from Bangalore to Cochin, here I am in my home with my parents. So this post comes directly from “God’s Own Country”. The first thing that you realize upon being here is how hot things are. Even at 7 in the morning when I reached here, I started sweating; and that process still continues. The overnight journey was manageable. I was really tired with all the shifting that I have had to do in the last couple of days. I had dinner from the Mallu restaurant at Madivala in Bangalore that makes its profit only by the dinner it serves to the people traveling to Kerala every night. If I were to comment on the quality of the food and the service there, this blog would no longer remain a blog intended for “family reading”. Hence I reserve my comments there. Couple of my friends – AR and SH came over to see me off – perhaps the last time this is going to happen to me as a bachelor. I desperately wanted them to come over to my place for the big betrothal weekend; but sadly work prevented them from doing so. My mom is a bit disappointed that none of them were not able to make it for what is one of my big days. But then, people do have other things to do in their lives.

The tired person that I was, I started sleeping the moment I got inside the bus. One of my friends was travelling along with me, but my sleep overpowered my quench to engage in a conversation with him. Thankfully there were no bed bugs in the seat that I was sitting; so that made my sleep quite a bit uninterrupted. I woke up a few times though, when the driver of the bus thought it was necessary to wake up the people, and when he resorted to the application of sudden brakes for accomplishing that. Overall, compared to my last few overnight journeys, this was much more comfortable than the previous ones. With no unwarranted stops in between, the journey got over in the stipulated time frame of 11 hours itself. There is always something special when you get inside Kerala. Maybe the biased Keralite in me is saying that. But the greenery outside, the small petty shops fondly called “chayakkadas”, the people all around discussing things on the newspaper – everything makes this state very unique. The inherent laziness is both the boon as well as the bane of the state.

My house in Cochin is getting ready for its first marriage. As I walked in, I saw an army of workers – from painters to plumbers to masons to carpenters in my house. Dad wanted all the work to be done and dusted with by tonight. After all, tomorrow the guests would start coming. You don’t want all these work to be there even when the guests arrive. My house does have a new look. The ugly green paint that the walls had has given way to a beautiful ivory color. I guess mom was the one who selected this color. It should go well with the new set of curtains that we have. The flooring that was a bit off at a few places has been redone; new furniture put in place. Everything looks a bit different. The last time I came here almost three weeks back, the work had just started. But now its almost done, and the house at least is all set for its first big function over the weekend.

Mom and dad are extremely thrilled with what is going to happen over the weekend. After all it’s the culmination of one of the toughest projects they have had to undertake – make me say yes to marriage; and them get me married. My mom would always say that it would have been a lot easier to get a girl married as compared to the effort that they had to put in for getting mine on track. In the morning my future in-laws came over to visit me and my family. Guess this was the pretext of what is going to happen over the betrothal day. They gave us a briefing about what is going to happen over the betrothal day. For people who don’t know, in the Catholic sect that I belong to – the Syrian Roman Catholic, the betrothal is a function hosted by the girl’s family; whereas the marriage is hosted by the guy’s family. And betrothal is a function where the marriage process is officially kick started by the church.

I am a little bit tired with the overnight journey. Now I need to have a good bath; and a small nap. There is a bit more of shopping for the weekend, which I need to do in the evening. Mom hates it when I sit in front of my laptop while I am at home. So before she starts shouting at me, I better wind up…

18 Days To Go - Welcome To My New Den

2009-04-29T16:18:00.007+05:30

Finally the shifting is done. I am out of my old place; and its time to embrace the new den. Since the coat was completely dismantled, the shifting process was a lot more reasonable. To be honest, I am happy that I saved a few bucks by not calling for the services of the “Movers & Packers”. Managed to complete the entire shifting process for 800 bucks; where as the ‘Movers & Packers” guy would have asked for at least a 3000. In Bangalore, if you are perceived to be a software engineer, it’s almost imperative that the rates go higher. Add to that, you are not well versed in Kannada. Those two parameters would ensure that the bills would shoot up. So I decided to be the “Movers & Packers” guy myself. Shifting stuff from the second floor of my old place to the second floor of my new place was indeed a painful thing. One of my friends came along with me to help me out in this. Together we completed the loading/unloading. All the stuff got dumped in the main room; and by the look of it, it will take some effort to clean up the entire place. Anyway there is time for that. The whole of next week is available for me to do the same.

Now that one of the action items was done and dusted with, I proceeded to the second action item on me – pacify my girl. Shifting was supposedly a lot more easier job that this one. It all depended on what her mood was. The early morning sms’s that flew to and fro between my mobile and her’s didn’t give me an idea about what is there in her mind. At times the inherent male ego in me wakes up firing me up and asks me to say – go to hell. But then, I am trying to control that ego quite a bit these days. So the internal “fire-fighter trigger” gets up and running these days quite instantaneously. Couple of emails that were communicated during the day as well didn’t give a clear direction on where her mind was heading to. No wonder someone once said that the most complicated thing on earth is a woman’s mind. These days I am learning it first hand. So in the evening when I got a message saying she has left office, I decided to give her a call. And then there was Murphy’s law in full swing – I was not getting connected. This activity was getting coupled with the minimal cleaning up that I was doing at my place. So I decided to continue with the “clean up” and call her later. After some time I called her back; and this time I got connected. Was there apprehension on both sides – I don’t know… But then It was decided that I would go to see her off at the bus stop where she was to board a bus to Kerala. Through the crowded lanes, I and my friend went to see her; and not only did I get to see her off, we actually had dinner together as well. As I bid her good bye, I asked myself – is the action item executed properly? I guess yes. I think I was able to pacify Amms. Did I do anything special to achieve it? I don’t think so. Then how did it happen? I don’t have a clue. As I said – it’s a complex web – a woman’s mind. One shouldn’t hope to debug it… Just go by what you have in hand. Early in the morning today I got a message from her saying she has reached home after an overnight journey.

One more formality remains with regards to my old place. I haven’t handed over my keys of my old place to the owner. Then there would be this big fight to get back the advance that I had given there. All these folks are more than happy to take the advance. But when it comes to giving it back, God knows from where they manage to get all those reasons!!! Tonight I need to travel down to Kerala. Well, I don’t really like these overnight journeys in the cramped buses; where if you are terribly unlucky, you would have bed bugs for company. But I guess this is one trip that I cant afford to be lax on. After all this is for my big betrothal weekend. Tomorrow morning I would reach my sweet city of Cochin. In the peak of the summer, it would be extremely hot. But still I like being there at my sweet little city. Hopefully the next part of this adventure would come from “Gods own Country”. So for now, I am wishing myself “Bon Voyage”…

IPL 2009 So Far

2009-04-29T01:09:00.008+05:30

The IPL 2009 has completed almost one third of its total span. I guess we have seen enough of the teams to say who is hot and who is cold. I write this blog immediately after a wonderful game between the Delhi Daredevils and the Rajasthan Royals, which the later won thanks to a brutal assault on the Delhi bowlers by the elder Pathan from Vadodara [these days famous in the blogging world as Shegra Pathan, thanks to “Fake IPL Player”]. Some teams have been exceptional; some have been woefully bad. Some of them fluctuated from good to bad and reverse. So I have decided to classify them into three groups – “hot”, “hot one day cold next day” and “cold”.

Following is my take on the “hot” teams at this point of time in the tourney.

Deccan Chargers: Clearly the “red hot” team in the competition. They were the worst team last season. But this season, they can’t take a step wrong. Many a times I wonder how this happened. They didn’t do any lavish spending for this season; nor have there been any drastic change in their side – the only change being Fidel Edwards [what a season he is having]. Momentum is something that plays a lot of significance in the T20 game; and be rest assured that this team has momentum with them. Gilchrist has been good – both as a batsman up the order as well as a captain. The batting looks rock solid with Gibbs and Rohit Sharma in the top four. The bowling is exceptional as well with Edwards, RP Sing and Ojha all in some serious form. Any team that can leave out either of Dwayne Smith or Scott Styris has got to be a fantastic team. But one thing they are really brilliant and a cut above the rest is in their fielding. This team is without doubt the best fielding team in the competition so far.

Mumbai Indians: Had an indifferent season last year; where there lost lots of matches initially; then won quite a bit in a row; and then again lost a lot in a row. Sachin Tendulkar seems to be a man on a mission this tournament so far. And never write off his opening partner Jayasuriya. Bring to the mix the latest sensation in international cricket JP Dumminy. That’s a batting order too good to be true. The bowling is pretty good as well – Zaheer, Malinga and Harbhajan being the key bowlers. I would be extremely surprised if this team has a season similar to what it had last year. This is too good a team to fail.

Delhi Daredevils: This is a team filled with daredevils. There is no other definition for a team that has loads of mavericks playing. Batting lineup is as good as it can get – Sehwag, Gambhir, deVilliers and Dilshan – mouth watering isn’t it. They have steam rolled all opposition so far till tonight; where they were banished by a hurricane innings by Yousuf Pathan of the Rajasthan Royals. One problem that I see for this team is that the openers are not clicking according to their expectations. The bowling looks good as well – especially with the two spinners – Vettori and Mishra that they have in their lineup. The wickets in South Africa giving some unexpected assistance to spinners in this tournament would ensure that they would have a significant role to play in the entire tourney. The seam bowling is also good – Dirk Nannes [who was surprisingly picked over McGrath] and Nehra has done enough so far to make me feel that this would be a formidable lineup.

I would be really surprised to see if any of these teams don’t qualify for the semi finals. I know its not the most wisest of things to predict so early in the tourney; but by present form, these three should go through to the semi finals. I would be more than happy to see my prediction go wrong; because if that was to happen, some of the other teams would have to play exceptionally well. That would really make the tournament a lot more thrilling…

Now comes the three teams whom I would call as “hot one day, cold the next day”. Three teams come in that category – Rajasthan Royals, Chennai Superkings and Kings XI Punjab. These have been teams that are consistently inconsistent.

Rajasthan Royals: The fairy tale story team of last year is struggling to bring in any level of consistency this season. Captain Fantastic continues to weave his magic; the bowlers are dong their jobs; the problem area is the batting. They seem to be woefully out of touch. Smith is extremely scratchy – the most I have ever seen from him. This team depends a lot on him. If they want to have any hopes of going ahead in this season, he better comes back to form. They have some ruthless hitters in Yousuf Pathan, Ravindra Jadeja and Masscarenes. But for them to be effiective, the top order needs to fire big time. Maybe Smith needs to change the way he plays; and play the role of the anchor. Bet Shane Warne to come up with a gem. He has got one this year as well – a slinging leftie from Azamgarh – Kamran Khan. Someone who hasn’t played a single game, is now all of a sudden the key player of the team. The bowling is holding good in Munaf, Kamran, Masceranes and Warne. They just need the batting to explode for the team to fly high this year as well. How much would I love to have the fairy tale repeat itself.

Kings XI Punjab: Finalists last year are struggling this year. The loss of key players – Marsh, Lee and Sreesanth [oh yeah, the crazy guy was actually useful last year] this year has affected them badly. They seem to be a lost lot. And having perhaps a strategically poor captain is not helping them either. Yuvraj Sing is a wonderful batsman; but as a captain, he has been really poor. The batting is clicking in patches; the bowling doesn’t instill a lot of confidence. The more that I look into this team, the more pessimistic I am on this team qualifying for the semis. If they are to qualify, they would require some wonderful individual performances from their key players – especially their captain. When Yuvraj is on song, there is nothing much better than that…

Chennai Superkings: Before the tournament started, they were the odds on favorites to win this season. Sadly, nothing has gone according to plan. If you look at the lineup, there is only one word that comes in your mouth – awesome. Some of the best hitters in the business stud that lineup. But still that consistency is not there in the team. The main problem is their bowling. Gony is not as effective as what he was last year. You really don’t know which Balaji is going to turn up every day. And then they expect Joginder Sharma to bowl four overs every game [that is asking a bit too much]. They need to have a serious re-look at their bowling, if they want to find themselves having a crack at the semi final spot. And Dhoni does have a problem up his sleeve here. Lets see how captain fantastic reacts to such an adversity. The batting is more or less settled with Hayden in top form. They need the bowling to settle down quickly. Guess they have the exactly opposite problem as what the Rajasthan Royals have...

Now for the two cold teams of the tournament – the Kolkata Knight Riders and Bangalore Royal Challengers. They have been the real dud teams of this season – uninspiring and boring to watch. AT no point of time do they give any sort of confidence to you. I guess its not ironic that the team owners of these two teams are the most flamboyant ones – who think they are bigger than the team.

Kolkata Knight Riders: This is one team that doesn’t know what it is to win. It’s a team filled with contradictions. The coach has one view point; the captain has another; while the senior members of the team want to take it in an entirely different direction. Its like the four wheels of a car pulling the car to four different directions. It just doesn’t have a settled look to it. The bowling is hopelessly weak. The batting lineup has some names that would do well in the T20 format; but they are all failing with an alarming regularity. This is one team that people like to hate. When modesty is not the best forte of the team as well as the team owner, no wonder people hate this team. I don’t see this team going anywhere. They will languish in the bottom half all through the tournament. And for the next seasons, heads are bound to roll…

Bangalore Royal Challengers: Hopeless. That’s the word that suits this team the most. There has been enough written about this team all the while; and I bet there was nothing good written. This team needs to be dismantled. At least that would take away the torture that we supporters of this team have to go through every game…

The disastrous performances of these two teams tell us one big lesson – flamboyance doesn’t give results. What is needed is some hard work. Hopefully at least in the next season they would understand this. These two teams would be in fierce battle this entire tournament – for who takes the last spot in the table. They are playing not to be the best – but to be the worst…

19 Days To Go - Time For Packing Off

2009-04-28T12:06:00.006+05:30

One more day down!! Now just 19 mode days remain… The action item for yesterday was successfully done. I was able to untangle the complex network of nuts and bolts in my coat. With that, my coat has been successfully disintegrated into eight smaller units. Kuddos son!!! This dismantling helped me resolve two issues – one, it makes my shifting a lot more easier; and second, I don’t need to call a “Movers & packers” any more. Guess I would have saved at least 1000 bucks with this. It has its disadvantage as well; what if I am not able to assemble the coat back? What if I just forget the network topology of the coat interconnected by that complicated sequence of nuts and bolts? They will remain in my place as an epitome of my ineptness. Even though I put a brave face, deep inside I am really worried of such a scenario. That damn coat had cost me 5000 Rupees. The last thing I want to see is my Rs. 5000 coat becoming a cluster of wooden and iron junk.

Now that one of the biggest hurdles in the shifting business is crossed, I started packing up my bags. Then came the next problem. I was running out of bags. The unscrupulous shopping that I did meant that the bags that I had were not sufficient in itself. More plastic bags came in to take care of this issue. And at this point of time, almost half of my stuff has gone into some bag or the other. Another aspect of packing in these kind of situation is that you retrieve a whole lot of things that were considered lost over a period of time. The messy person that I am meant that I would be loosing a whole lot of things in any given period of time. When you loose them, you search for them for some time, and then you accept it yourself that its gone out of reckoning. And then when you start packing, out of the blue you get to see those things. Hurray!!! The lost ones are back!!! The ardent Christian believer that my mom is, she would always ask me to pray to St. Antony when you loose something in order to retrieve it. According to her, St. Antony is the saint capable of doing this. I tried this a few occasions; and got the stuff as well. But then, the frequency of my prayers to St. Antony increased, and he decided to teach me a lesson. Hence those retrieval acts became far and few; and invariably happens during the packing up phase… I have asked for a tempo in the evening to shift my entire stuff in the evening. That would be one heck of a job; all be it that it’s a lot more easier with the coat dismantled.

When you have lots of things on your plate that needs to be done in so little time, invariably lots of things go wrong. And then its just a case of looking at how efficiently you can rectify those problems. In that entire debugging of the nuts-n-bolts network, I had to skip a date with my girl. Let us call her Amms!!! Amms is going to Kerala tonight for the big betrothal weekend. I am supposed to go tomorrow. So it was planned that we will have one final date before the official “engagement” kicks in – the last date of a bachelor and a spinster who has decided to live together for the rest of their lives. After the weekend, both of us are officially “committed”; though unofficially we were “committed” for almost two months now – ever since the families decided to tie both of us together. In all the rumble and mumble of shifting, I proposed to cancel the date. Amms was furious to say the least… She was justified in her anger as well – after all this was supposedly our last date as a bachelor and a spinster. Only a fool like me would do stuff like this… All my persuasion skills went no where in front of her anger. And the level of her furiousness is bound to explode when she reads this blog. I know for sure that my girl does follow my blog every once in a while. Son, you are in one big soup!!!

This evening is going to be hectic – driven by two activities – pacifying my Amms and shifting my place. Both of them are going to be extremely tiresome. Let me see how far I can take this through…

20 Days To Go - The Countdown Begins

2009-04-27T12:30:00.008+05:30

There is exactly twenty more days for my big day – my wedding. Well, time passes bye so quickly doesn’t it? When I have a look at my calendar I realize that its been over two months since I have got engaged. At that point of time, I thought there is sufficient time for everything to be done. And wrooommmm!!! Time just flew bye. And now I am looking at the last few days of me being a bachelor – twenty days to be precise. This is the first wedding in the family; and hence it’s bound to have a bit of fun as well. There would be lots of things happening in the next twenty days leading up to the wedding. I have decided to write down a blow-by-blow account of the events these days, so that some time in the future I can look into these posts and recollect these days.

I am getting ready to move to my new place. I had given the cheques as part of the advance to my new owner. He said that he would clean up the entire house and hand over the keys some time in the evening today. Now I need to go to his place and officially take that house for me to stay. With every shifting, there is always this perennial issue of packing up things. The search for cartons and bags to shift the entire thing is still in full swing; though there have been no palpable results for the same. No matter what, I need to start packing up things tonight itself. When I came into my current place of stay two years back, I remember that I had literally nothing to take in. My entire stuff could have been contained in three or four bags. Now that is not the case. The uninhibited spending on stuff that I did in the past couple of years made sure that I would require at least half a dozen bags for just the clothing and books – the two items that I have collected in shameless grandeur over the last couple of years. Add to that the additional cooking accessories, tables, chairs, bean bags and bed that I have accumulated over the last couple of years makes sure that I would require at least a tempo traveler for shifting the entire thing.

The bed is the one that gives me the biggest problem. It’s a big one – the manufacturers called it as queen size. I bought that bed thinking of just the comfort part of sleeping in it every night. Little did I recognize at that point of time that I will have to come across enormous difficulties when I shift it from the second floor of my current apartment [which has narrow steps connecting floors] to the second floor of my new place [thankfully the steps are a bit more wider there]. This is going to be one heck of a problem. There is a way out though. When I bought this bed, the shop keeper had told me that this coat could be dismantled into several pieces and can be reconstructed back to the coat. Well, I guess its time to see if the shop keeper had told me the truth or not. In the morning today, I had a close inspection of the coat, and found that all the parts of that coat are connected by an intricate network of nuts and bolts. What is required is a proper debug on how I can untangle the entire network. Action item for the evening I guess. If I am not able to untangle it myself, I might as well have to call upon some “Movers & Packers” to shift. The coat in a single piece can’t be shifted all by me.

Its natural to wonder how this entire problem is related to my wedding – the answer is very simple. If my marriage was not there, I wouldn’t have had to shift my house. If I were not to shift my house, I wouldn’t have had the troubles of burning my head on how to untangle a network of nuts and bolts. Everything seems interconnected… doesn’t it??

Shoe-Throwing

2009-04-27T09:08:00.006+05:30

Well, expression of opinion in India has a new format. It’s imported from a war-torn country in the Middle East; and now India is accepting it with open arms. Oh yes; I am talking about the latest mode of expressing dissent – shoe throwing. It all started with the famous George Bush episode – when an enraged Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at the US President who was on his farewell tour to Iraq. The strong anti-American sentiment that resonates all across the Middle east made sure that this journalist became an instant hero in the Arab households; so much so that the model of that shoe which was thrown at the President had a sudden surge in demand all across the Middle East. It heralded the arrival of the latest means of expressing anger at the politicians.

Fast forward it to Elections 2009 in India. As in many other cases, we have accepted something bad from the outside world with a zeal that’s unparallel. First it was a journalist throwing his shoes at Home Minister Chidambaram. Then it was a retired school teacher throwing one at Navin Jindal. And then came one from a disgruntled party worker on the Leader of Opposition Advani. I would have assumed that the security forces in the country would have woken up to this new format of protest now that Mr. Advani has been attacked. No; I was badly mistaken. It happened again. This time it was at the Prime Minister himself. That says a few things about how strong our security establishment is, right? What more should happen before these shoe-attacks come to an end? What if instead of the shoe, it was some sort of an explosive that these fools would have thrown at the leaders? In the first place, how did these people manage to throw these things at them; when there is high security all around them? These are questions that the security agencies should ask themselves and find solutions. I am no expert in this; and hence have no solutions as well.

My problem in all of this is the lack of deterrence towards an action like this in our country. When the Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at the US President, he was immediately caught and a legal procedure was initiated against him. That acted as deterrence to the entire episode and we never heard of any more attacks of the same vain happening in the Middle East. What happened in India was completely opposite. Here the people attacked asked the security forces not to take action on these folks; and they were left free. What the f***?? What are these people trying to portray – that they are the neo-incarnations of Mahatma Gandhi? The politicians have stooped themselves to such low levels in the eyes of the common man that an “act of pardon” is not going to make any difference. I won’t be surprised if we come to a stage where bets are going around amongst friends on whether you would be able to throw shoes at some leaders.

This madness has to come to an end. I am sure that there are better ways of expressing your anger and distrust towards the political class in this country. A counter argument would be that the politicos of the country are so bad that they deserve the shoes. But then for me, two wrongs doesn’t make one right…

Curious Case Of Fake IPL Player

2009-04-25T08:58:00.008+05:30

The IPL is in full swing in South Africa. Apart from the cricket that is on show, something else hass captured the imagination – of at least the world of bloggers. It’s the blogs from someone who claims himself to be part of the KKR team, giving out details about the ego clashes in that team, the way they prepare and react. True insider information stuff. The blogging world is completely buzzing about this chap. Most of the readers are trying to find who this chap is. All in all, he has become one of the superstars of this IPL season. His blog fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com has become one of the most sought after blog page in the country now. Lots of people are following this blog; so do I. Its become some sort of an addiction. There was a pause in his posting for a day or so; and rumors started flying around saying that he could have been caught and we may not get any more blogs from him. And then he resurfaced yesterday night. The popularity of his blog was so much that I got five sms messages from my friends following this blog when the update happened. Guess the entire world is waiting…

The good part of his blog is that he is saying things with a whole lot of satire and sarcasm. Lets accept it – people love to hate the KKR. More often than not, its got to do with the flamboyance of its owner Shah Rukh Khan. And then there is the Dada angle as well. I don’t think Indian cricket ever had a more polarizing figure than Sourav Ganguly. And when he was axed from the captaincy of the KKR team, people thought of a conspiracy angle to all of that – the foreigners were conspiring against him and the team owner was hand in glove with all of that. Hence the blogging world which I consider as a small sample size of the real world was waiting for an opportunity to latch on to something rotten in the KKR setup. They had a shot in the arm when this mysterious blogger surfaced. People accepted him with open arms. Everyone hopes that he is never caught and we continue to get this never ending doze of insider information about the team. The popularity of the blog is so evident from the number of comments he gets for each of his posts. One thing is for sure; even if his cricketing career is over once he gets caught, he can definitely make a living with his writings.

The best part of his blog are the names that he uses for the players in his blog – the best one for one Indian fast bowler hailing from God’s own Country – “Appam Chutiya”. I laughed like hell when I cam across this name for the first time. Man… this guy has a seriously good sense of humor. The other names include “Prince Charles of Patiala” for Yuvraj Sing, “Vinnie Dildo” for team owner SRK, “Lordie” for Sourav Ganguly, “Little John” for Ishaant Sharma, “Sheikh of Tweak” for Shane Warne. Wonder how his guy managed to have such a good sense of humor… Every time I read his blog, there is a big grin across my face. I am pretty sure that would be the case for almost everyone who reads this blog, except the KKR guys. If they were given a choice, they would have shot this guy off from the edge of a cliff… he he he…

You need to be damn brave to be able to write something like this. You are literally putting your head on the chopping block. Be rest assured that he is going to loose the contract once he is going to get caught. And he will be caught some day – cos all good things come to an end some day. But till that day comes, the cricket buffs in the blogging world would be treated to some seriously good insider information. Just enjoy the fun as long as it lasts…

10 Rules of House-hunting In Bangalore

2009-04-24T19:30:00.006+05:30

One of the things that someone getting married has to go through in Bangalore is the phenomenon of searching for a house. Its tiresome; at times being very irritating; but at the end of the day when you finally get one house to stay after marriage, its an experience worth every bit. You find different types of people – from utter fools to people whose activities are completely driven by absolute greed. Invariably you would find the second category of people more. With my marriage less than a month away, I was desperately searching for the house; and Thank God, I finally got one!!! But this experience helped me to formulate the 10 rules of house-hunting in Bangalore:

1. No house ever satisfies you. Its all about getting into the house that gives you the least dissatisfaction

2. When you are looking for a house to stay with your spouse, never even dream of a scenario where you would find a house that both of you would like. Priorities change!!!

3. When the house owner says that rent is negotiable, be rest assured that he had hiked the initial rent told to you to take care of the “negotiations”. End of the day its just your peace of mind. The owner just made a fool out of you.

4. Ten months advance is insane. You feel like revolting against the entire world when you hear that from a house owner. But if you want the house, pay!!!

5. When the house owner smiles at you as if he was waiting for you to arrive all his life, be rest assured – his thoughts are solely on the advance that you are going to give him

6. When you see an ad in the newspaper for a house which says “x” minutes from some landmark, take it with a pinch of salt. To be on the safer side, take it as “2x” or “3x”

7. When you come across a broker dealing in houses for rent, don’t expect him to argue for you in the negotiation phase. After all, the lesser rent you pay, the lesser brokerage he gets. Why would someone say “I want lesser money”?

8. Be prepared to have a kitchen where you can barely move around. You need to be bloody lucky to find a house with a reasonable kitchen

9. Never have hopes of having a house similar to the one which you have in your native place. You would be disappointed. More importantly, the searching time span just gets a bit longer. Eventually you compromise.

10. Pray baby… pray!!! And hope your stars are all favorable

Welcome Back IPL

2009-04-24T11:40:00.004+05:30

Its that time of the year when the cricket frenzy just overwhelms me. The Indian Premier League (IPL) has started; and so has my late nights in front of the TV. Thankfully my work is much lesser these days compared to what it was a month or so back. That helps me to hook myself up in front of the TV in the nights without worrying too much about the work. The fact that the IPL has moved to South Africa has taken away some of the charm of the tourney. Nothing matches the home and away format of the tournament. I still remember the loud cheer of supporters of the Chennai Superkings in Chennai; the passionate roar at the Eden Gardens when Ganguly plays a cover drive; the bullying of the opposition team and the Sachin-Surya chants in Mumbai – the things that made the last season’s IPL an absolute treat to watch. Scenarios beyond the control of the organizers made sure that the tournament was outsourced to South Africa. It will be different from what it was last year; but then there is always change that brings in the novelty in life.

For a change we wont see those tall scores this IPL. The pitches in South Africa would ensure that there is a bit of a balance between the bat and the ball. Last year, one was made to think whether the bowlers are relevant at all – what if we just replace them by bowling machines. Anyway they are to be thrashed for the so called DLF-maximums [that happens to the IPL terminology for a SIX; insane marketing]. Talking about the DLF-maximums, the commentators for this season is making sure that it goes one step forward. In one of the matches, one of the commentators in his peak voice yelled out “He has been DLF-ed” when he referred to a bowler being hit for a SIX. That was insane. What next – how about “The ball races away to the fence for a Reliance” or “He has been Pulsored”. I wont be surprised if I get to hear those lines as well.

And then there is the innovation of the IPL – Strategy Breaks. In between the batting session there is a seven-and-a-half minute break. Mr. Modi calls it a time to reassess the strategies for the teams. I call it “enforced advertisement break”. What more do we want? I have lots of respect for the organizational capabilities of Mr. Modi. But this is taking things beyond acceptable norms. Mr. Modi, how about having a 30 second break between deliveries now? In almost all the matches that we have seen this season so far, invariably the team batting looses the momentum because of this stupid break. Many players are up in arms against this innovation. But true to his character, Mr. Modi still believes these strategy breaks are necessary for the game. You can wake a man who is sleeping; but not someone who acts as if he is sleeping.

There are some things that haven’t changed though. The team that I support – the team of a boozer; for the boozers; and filled with boozers – the Bangalore Royal Challengers are still the same as what they were last year. They still continue to loose matches with incredible consistency; even with the change in personnel, they seem to be like a deer in front of head lights. They gave me false hope when they won the first game against the last year’s champions – the Rajasthan Royals. But then that was just an aberration. It doesn’t take too much time to come back to reality from the dreams – all it takes is to open your eyes. The only thing that needs to be seen now is Wasim Jaffer opening for the Royal Challengers and leaving deliveries outside the off stump. All my friends are making fun of me for continuing my support to this team. It defies logic – what I am doing. But then I have never been someone who did things logical… he he he…

An Emotion Called Hurt

2009-04-15T01:12:00.005+05:30

Hurt is one of the most lasting feelings that one can ever get. Once you are hurt, invariably it remains with you. Some people say that time is a great healer. I tend to disagree. There will always be certain things in life where the great healer invariably fails in his activity of healing. They will linger somewhere deep within your system. You might assume that its all gone and the mind is like a clean slate where you can all draw things afresh. But that’s a myth. The moment something bad happens to you, all those feelings that you though have been long gone comes back with renewed vengeance. It stings you with excruciating agony; and makes sure that the feelings and memories that you want to bury deep many a miles from you comes back right in front of the eyes. Tears flow; words become difficult to come bye; everything around defies logic; and you end up asking the same old question – why is it that I am having to go through this again and again. That’s a question that you very rarely find answer to. More often than not it just increases the disappointment that is lingering deep within you.

When you get hurt, all those previous instances of being hurt comes back into your memory like a movie being played. The sequence of events this time looks very similar to the way it was last time around. You start to think that even after you did things a different way, the result is the same. Unknowingly you go into a state of utter pessimism, where the most prevalent thought is that the entire world is plotting against you. You feel yourself extremely helpless. You look out for support; but cant find any. Alas; the ones you had counted on for being with you in times of distress are no longer around you. The faces that were with you in times of laughter try to run away from you. You run fast towards them for a shoulder of support; for a reinforcement of faith that you are not alone in all of these. But they run away faster. The distress in you seeks a way out. Some find it in alcohol; some in drugs. Some just give up in life to this overwhelming feeling of hurt. Some just become the epitome of cynicism.

Its hard to get out of this. You want to; but cant. You hope time will heal all of that. And when in a few days you feel like going back to your normal life, you get to believe that it’s finally being healed. Sadly, it’s just a whim. It’s never healed; its just hiding somewhere deep within you, waiting for the next possible opportunity to come out. And come out it does – with a renewed vigor; just to push you into more agony. And the same question comes up in your mind then – why is it that I am having to go through these again and again? No wonder someone sensible once said – life is all about cycles…

Trying To Fly...

2009-04-05T14:51:00.005+05:30

Just like being in love is an amazing feeling, getting into the first fight with your love is equally painful. Especially when the reason behind the fight is the question that haunts every professional that makes his or her living in the new age knowledge driven professions – the imbalance between office and life. To start off, she just can’t comprehend the fact that I need to give so much of my time to work. It’s a bit tricky scenario – I guess it’s the same for almost everyone that works in this industry. On the once side, u want to spend as much of time as possible with your girl – especially in the courtship period. But at the same time, the amount of work that you are responsible for takes a whole lot of time on a daily basis.

Our first fight started immediately after we returned back to Bangalore. And it all started because I go too much tied up with the work that was pending on my head; that I missed out on calling her or messaging her. It was my mistake; I admit that. But I was under so much of pressure that it just went out of my head. So a slew of message went back and forth. This is the first time, I got involved in a argument through sms!!! Results of technology advancements. It went till well past midnight, and no resolution was in sight. And some time in between, I dozed off. That was it. One of the basic rules were broken – you don’t take a conflict to the next day. The next day started. I hoped for a resolution. But the response to my sms said to me that she was still a tad angry. And in the due course of time, it just wilted away. No one said sorry… Both of us were correct in our own right. And this was probably the point where a middle ground was to be found.

As they say, there are fights when there is love. It gives a bit of happiness when you realize that there is someone who considers you as the most important person; when my presence is craved for; when my words are valued; my actions treasured and my voice cherished. But then, life never gives you everything. It provides a natural process of checks and balances. It balances the good things that happen to you along with the responsibilities attached with you. And a successful person is one who is able to manage everything simultaneously. In this aspect, I feel myself as a bird learning to fly. I want to, but am not able to. But the tries still continue. At some point of time, I would be able to do that. But till then, I just need to continue trying… That is the name of the game.

Preparing For Marriage

2009-04-03T08:26:00.003+05:30

The dates for the marriage are approaching soon, and things are starting to get some momentum. And a significant milestone for the same is to attend this course where the church as an institution prepares you to get married. Or should I say the church as an institution prepares you for an ideal Christian life after marriage. This is a three day course which wee were to attend in Cochin. So I and my girl went to Cochin to attend this training program. Since this was a release time for all of us in office, it was a big struggle to get leave for these days. I was finally able to convince the guys about the necessity of this with regards to my marriage, and I was granted leaves. So off I went down to Cochin.

For anyone who travels from Bangalore to Cochin at this time of the year, the thing that would hit hard from the very beginning is the heat. Bangalore is warm, but Cochin is stinking hot. The arrival of summer and the natural humidity of the city make it a real mess. I come from Cochin, but staying in Bangalore for almost 5 years now has changed the way my body reacts to heat. So the very moment I reached the city, I started sweating, and it continued till the moment I got back into the bus to travel back. Most of the days I would take bath three or four times a day.

This course was to start on Sunday. My brother dropped me at the place where this event was to be done. Her brother dropped her. We had heard that this is a tough one, but little did we have a clue on how hard it was. With classes starting at around 6 in the morning and going till 10 in the night, it was draining to say the least. Add to that the fact that we were to sit in that extreme heat, and the issues that were talked about were predominantly spiritual, while even the physical aspects of the married life were looked at from a spiritual point of view. The moment we get a short break, I would run away to have a bath. It was that hot. Every time I get frustrated, I will tell my girl about running away from that place and do a court marriage; so much so that once she commented that she was afraid if I would actually run away… And on top of all of that was the fact that my project was at its final stages and there were lots of open ends which I was supposed to finish off. Hence my mind was not completely there.

We were literally cut off from the outside world. The only contact used to happen when we called home once a day or so. No one knew what is happening outside; so much so that the funny hoax news of some 15 odd terrorists landing up in the city also was known to me after two days. Being a leftist and a liberal in my views, I was not completely in compliance with the views expressed by the people there. At times I felt that I was in a completely different page compared to the speakers. As expected, they were trying to reinforce the views of the church in almost every aspect of life – most of which I agree, but some of which I completely disagree. In sensitive issues like abortion, artificial birth control, homosexuality, I found my views to be completely opposite to what the church wants to portray. The church has always been slow to adapt to the realities of the new world. It takes a lot of time to accept that the world has indeed changed. That’s probably one of the reasons why the numbers are dwindling across the world.

By Tuesday evening, we were all done with the course, and it was time to travel back. I made a few friends there. But to be honest, I didn’t feel sad about the fact that the course had got over. I was too desperate to come back to Bangalore and help in the release. But one thing I did pretty well these three days – I learned to be a bit more disciplined and be patient. Probably that’s the most important thing needed in a married life as well – patience…

Lost In Thought

2009-03-16T19:17:00.006+05:30

There are times when you feel bad about things, even while you are extremely happy about the way things are going. Something similar happened to me a couple of days back. It was my girl's birthday, and to buy something for her, I took one of my best friends along to a watch shop. While my friend was actively looking for the best one available so that I can gift her, I was lost in thought for at least a few moments. All the while, I was a cynic - about marriage, girls, relationships... everything. Probably I was too much self-obsessed. And the friend who joined me for that short shopping, always looked forward to a family life. The destiny had it in different ways. The cynic was to go to the alter first; and the curious was left with a situation where the levels of interest was waning dangerously. Thoughts went through my mind about another friend of mine asking once about the reason why I am not getting married. His hypothesis was that I am not getting into a relationship since I didn’t want this friend of mine to be alone after my marriage; and that I am postponing mine so that his can happen first. Later I realized that there were more people who thought that way, given the long friendship that I had shared with him - that ran for well over a decade. I guess there was no such thought process in the entire thing. But if i were given a choice on how the destiny was to be shaped, I would have opted for his marriage to happen before mine.

Off late, there has been a silent prayer for him every time I pray. He is that precious for me. And to be honest, I don’t know how he will manage in a changed scenario in a couple more months’ time when I get married. Responsibilities come in, and I am afraid he would feel himself let off. I am pretty sure that I won’t let him feel lonely at any point of time. But then, there are times when events that happen are well beyond our control. I hope that he too gets settled very soon and that as in the past decade of being together, both of us go through all those moments of success and failiure, joy and sorrow, triumph and despair all together at the same time. I know its too much to ask. But that’s my hope. I just hope against hope that these things work out exactly the same way I hope would happen. Maybe I am too much of an optimist. But then, I have always been a big optimist when it came to my friends. I trust them much more than anyone else; even more than myself...

As usual he got the best one of the lot, and my girl loved it. He is always good in all these; finding the best ones for me. Probably that is what best friends are for - finding the best ones among all the options available for you.

When Change Kicks In

2009-02-22T20:35:00.003+05:30

They say – Everything in life changes but for change. The only thing that remains static is the phenomenon of “change”. Everything else change. This seems to be a season of change; change came to the US in the form of Barack Obama. Change also seems to have come for me. For the cynic that I am about relationships, this has been one heck of a change. From being someone who used to look at romantic couples with a bit of disdain and a bit of impropriety, I am now a convert who tries to be one in the pack. All of this happened because someone special walked into my life. Things changed upside down, my perceptions changed; beliefs shattered and outlook became different. The first thing that comes into my mind when I wake up in the morning is a face, which lasts through the day and then it’s the last thing that comes in my mind before my eyes go shut in the night. Remarkable I would say is the shift that I have had in my life. If at all there was something called destiny, this was it. This special one came in soon after Christmas as some sort of a belated Christmas present, and stayed all the way through. And now we are at a stage where there is a long term commitment to all of that.

Things go much faster than what you can imagine. From being a single, I am now a person committed to a relationship. And all of this happened at a speed that’s hardly imaginable. I wouldn’t call this one as a love at first sight. But there was definitely something that clicked the first time we met. The customary procedures involved in a arranged marriage would mean that I was to see her for the first time along with both the parents. After the meeting, I just asked one question to myself – do I want to be with this girl? My answer to that was “yes, she is good”, and to my surprise, her answer too was a “yes”. I was surprised that she opted to live with a bore like me. But then, as I said, destiny works in strange ways. This happened by the end of December, and by the end of January, that “wish to be together” had gained momentum and had become a “want to be together”. And by the middle of February, there was an official family stamp on that “want” [typical of an arranged marriage]. In between we came to know each other and some time during that phase, I realized that I am slowly but surely falling in love. The sms messages gave way to e-mails, and then to phone calls and finally dinner. While we traveled together from a sms message to a dinner, there was an element of inevitability kicking in. When you start thinking of someone much more than anyone else; when a face comes in frequently in your mind; when there is a huge urge to see someone; when someone’s absence starts hurting you, I would say that’s when you realize that you are in love with that individual. And when this happened to me, I realized that I have moved on from a “she is good” to “I like her” to “I love her”. And believe me, its just an awesome feel to be in this sort of a scenario.

I am happy to admit that I have been wrong in my cynical ways. Typically when people learn things in life, they learn the hard way. I am no different either. But this learning has been an extremely sweet one so far – something that made me realize that there is an another dimension in my life that remained untapped all these years; something that invariably brings a smile on my face. This is probably a phase in life where everything seems to be good; and probably that is what they call as being in love. Yeah, believe it or not; I am actually in love. Was I initially reluctant to accept this reality? If at all I was, I am absolutely sure that I am not at this given point of time. They say everything happens at its own time. Maybe this was the time for this facet of my life to unravel. Is there a blush right now in me? In all probability there is.

Indeed that initial statement is right – Everything in life changes but for change. But when change happens for the good, when change happens for ushering in a smile… Oh yeah… I would take it any day… any time… And I am happy that it indeed happened to me…

Comedian Lacking A Timing Sense

2009-02-19T12:29:00.004+05:30

There are times when you grieve about the death of people who are completely unknown to you. Something like that happened today with me. I had just logged into orkut to see the latest developments on my page. Recently, that page seems to be one place that is witnessing some serious activity, with lots of snooping and teasing comments. Once I logged in, I got to see one snap that one of my friends have put up in his page, which had something written on top of it. The inherent curiosity in me forced me to go and have a look at it. On the snap it was written, “I miss you; I love you”. That statement just increased my curiosity. Something within me said that there was something wrong. I searched for that person’s profile, and my worst fears came true. Indeed there was something bad. That person had an accident yesterday on the streets of Bangalore, and is no more. There were tones of messages from his aggrieved friends on his scrap. He was a young man; maybe as old as me. And it felt really sad that such a young life was taken away. At times destiny takes you places that u seldom want to travel. May his soul rest in peace.

I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that it could as well have been any of my friends as well. I would have been absolutely shattered if something like that happened to any of them. Any amount of thanks and prayers were felt as insufficient when I realized that none of that sort happened to any of my friends. There are many things in our lives that all of us take for granted. We expect our friends to be around every time – in good times and bad. We expect our family to be around – in hope as well as despair. At no point do we really try to look at a scenario when we loose one of them. Maybe its just because we don’t want to think about anything bad; I don’t know. But today, honestly I thank God that all my dear and near ones are with me and are safe. My heart goes out to the family of that young man, his friends, his loved ones, one whom this entire episode would have taken a really hard toll.

They say death is a comedian that lacks the sense of timing. How accurate a statement that is? It brings absolutely nothing, but lots and lots of pain…

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T00:58:00.003+05:30

It’s dead midnight on New Years Eve as I write this. Goodbye 2008; Welcome 2009. The last year went off in a flash. Lots of things changed – some for the better, some for the worse. But when I look back on the year 2008, it hasn’t been that bad actually. It was one of those years where you thought you would do more, but at the same time you are happy at the things that you have achieved. As the year passes bye, there are lots of people that I need to thank for making the last year a very memorable one. There have been moments of joy and elation, as well as utter despair and disappointment. It had everything that adds emotional spice to the life. It had been one heck of a rollercoaster ride. Hope the year ahead would be a good one as well.

The New Year’s Eve is the time when new resolutions are made, and the past year is reflected on. I had given up this notion of taking New Year resolutions many years back. But still, somewhere deep within you, there would be certain things that you wish you would want to do ever the year. In the dire economic conditions that exist globally, I would like to hope that there are no setbacks professionally through the next year. Everyone says its going to be a tough 2009. But an optimistic view of the same would be to think that if its winter now, spring is not that far away from you… Another thing that I would like to see happening with me next year is to fulfill the long cherished dream of learning Guitar. I thought about this at the starting of the year 2008 as well; didn’t materialize in 2008, hopefully it would in 2009. As I look forward to the year ahead, I can’t stop myself from thinking that this might as well be my last new year as a bachelor. Sometime over the year, I am expected to get married; something that is going to make gigantic changes in the way I am. Only time will tell how big the change would be.

As crackers go all around my house with the world heralding the arrival of the new year, I hope the new year is as colorful as ever; where smiles fills the faces of people all around; peace and happiness being the norm of life. I love this time of the year, where people come out forgetting their worries and sorrows; engulf themselves in the expression of joy for the arrival of the New Year. There is a smile on everyone’s face, and for a change, apprehensions and worries take a back seat in their lives. There is optimism about the new year; a silent prayer rings in every mind hoping for a better future.

If at all I am missing something at this point of time, its one of my best buddies who is currently out of the country now. His absence in my life is sorely felt; but then, that is the way life is. Life doesn’t give you everything that you yearn to have; invariably you live with what life gives you. At times life can be really cruel. You go through the pains that life gifts you with a smile on your face; hoping it doesn’t give you any more of that. But it’s the pains that life gives you that make you realize the value of the moments of success and happiness. Life gave me a pretty decent 2008. I hope 2009 is a good one as well… Happy New Year everyone…

Indian – A Male Chauvinist??

2008-12-21T12:36:00.003+05:30

Perhaps the only reality shows that I follow on television [there are quite a few these days] is the Indian Idol. I don’t exactly agree with the way the show goes – where these days more than the singing capability of the contestant, other parameters are given importance – vis-à-vis the performance skills, the looks of the individual, and at times ridiculous aspects like some emotional and sentimental stuff like problems in the family, their background and what more… But I feel of the available lot, this program is better than most others. Hence I have been watching it over the years; this is the fourth season of the same. Some things have changed over the years – like the standard of singing. But certain things have remained the same over the years.

The most startling is the averseness of the Indian public against women being the winner. There were many contestants over the years that were really worthy to win the Idol, but lost out just because they were women. As I watched with anguish Shini Kalvint being eliminated yesterday added yet another chapter in this shameful farce. Being the owner of one of the most powerful voices in the contest this year, everyone expected her to go all the way; and was one of the strong favorites to win the contest. The signs were on the horizon for the past couple of weeks when the likes of Ananya Mishra and Tulika Ganguly were eliminated in the previous two weeks. Well, that makes three female contestants being eliminated in the last three weeks. I have no problems if they were not as good as the remainder of the contestants who managed to get more votes in the public voting. Sadly this was not the case. These three were according to many, in the best five of the contest. There are a few more girls remaining in the contest, and I won’t be surprised if they get eliminated in the subsequent weeks, and this contest becomes an all-boys contest. Disgusting; that’s the only way I will describe this phenomenon. It tells a lot about our psyche, doesn’t it? We as a society still wants the women in the country to stay indoors; and have real problems in seeing them go through in life and be successful. Looking at the quality of the girls in the contest this year, I had hopes of seeing a female Indian Idol this year. But now I am retracting from that view. Indian Idol won’t be a woman this year as well.

I can’t help myself from thinking that we are very much a male chauvinistic society still. The average Indian man is still not comfortable with a scenario of gender equality. I guess it comes from the system that we followed over the years where the women were not allowed outdoors, and their empowerment was big no-no. And alarmingly this is not a phenomenon that’s present only in the so-called uneducated rural India. I recently read about a survey in one of the leading newspapers of this country, where more than two third of the respondents were not comfortable with a situation of having a woman as their boss. I find this entire situation a bit to repressive. What’s the point of saying that we are a growing nation, when the basic conscience of the nation is not growing; when the basic premise of equality is there only in letter and not in spirit? This thought process is a question mark on the conscience of this country, the soul of this country. Do we still want to remain in the dark ages, where women were there only to cook, look after the family, and give company to the man in the bed? Her emotions were never taken care of; her aspirations were always curtailed. He quest for freedom and independence were always shot on the foot. The rest of the world have moved on, but we still remain in those dark ages.

I would like to see things change in the Idol, and see a deserving contestant win the competition. But with every passing day, I am loosing faith in the way this country votes, and eventually the winner would be decided on the basis of which part of the country he [I am not mentioning a “she” here as I am sure that all the female contestants would be eliminated very soon] belongs to. So much so for the claims of being a progressive nation and a progressive society…

Last Christmas

2008-12-20T00:14:00.002+05:30

Its that time of the year again – when the entire world celebrates the festival of Christmas. There is always something very special about Christmas; if you ask me, it’s the most beautiful festival in the world. There is an element of calmness and serenity attached with this festival; something that brings a smile in the faces of the people. I guess its more to do with the fact that this is the time when vacations happen; and for most of the people, the time frame from Christmas to the New Year is the time when they forget every tension in their mind; be with their loved ones; and be happy. Probably its that sense of going back to your loved ones that makes this festival so very special. Circumstances had forced me to celebrate Christmas in Bangalore for the last four years; and I missed being at home over Christmas. This year its different, as I am going home of Christmas.

But I can’t stop myself from looking back at what happened an year ago for Christmas. Last year, similar to many of them before, I was not able to go to Cochin for Christmas. Normally that would have been a dull Christmas for me, where by Christmas lunch would be either from the office cafeteria; or some restaurants in Bangalore. But last year it was different. My best friend stayed back in Bangalore with me so that we could celebrate it together. And celebrate we did as well – it was without doubt the best Christmas that I have had in a long time. Everything was very special on Christmas – from waking up in the morning and going to the church, to cooking our Christmas lunch, to going for a movie on Christmas night, to walking quiet a few kilo meters at midnight back home from the movie in the Bangalore chill with no warm cloths. Everything was special; everything will remain etched in my memory for a long time.

As a new Christmas dawns itself in my life, I cant stop myself from thinking how much it’s changed? My best buddy is no longer there around me – he has gone far away. His memories still linger though; everything that he said, everything that he did remains very clear within me. How much would I sacrifice to get that Christmas of the last year back? Many a times in life, we need satisfy ourselves with memories. Perhaps this is one such instance. It’s a different Christmas this year, with me celebrating it with my parents. But the memories of last Christmas flash itself in my mind as if it happened just yesterday. Its still very fresh in my mind. Christmases would come; Christmases would go. But for me the best one would always be the last Christmas…

Pasted Smiles

2008-12-19T02:35:00.006+05:30

Many a times, everyone encounters a situation in life where he or she moves around with what I would call as “pasted smiles”. It’s a scenario where you know are feeling something within; and at the same time your ego doesn’t allow you to express what you feel within. At that point of time, even if you are so much overwhelmed by emotion that you want to have a loud cry, what is seen on you is a smile on your face, which is completely artificial. You laugh around when there are tears flowing uncontrollably within you. You joke around when the only thing that you want is a period of solitude where you can get rid of your pains and tears. Its one of the trickiest scenarios in life. This situation of duality within you creates a whole lot of trouble within you; and makes your life extremely miserable – so much so that you ask that question to yourself; whether you deserve to go through all of these. Being in pain is one thing; but living through it as if it doesn’t exist is an entirely different cup of tea.

These “pasted smiles” phenomenon is coming into my life all too often these days; too much for my comfort. The more I try to run away from it, it hits me at a much rapid pace that I am completely taken aback. There is an element of helplessness within me these days; which makes me get a resigned attitude. I have come to accept it as a part of life. Have I forgotten to have a genuine laugh in life? Have I forgotten what it is to enjoy my life? Its becoming all too mechanical. The sense of being cynical is quickly catching up with me. Its come to an extend where I would be surprised when something good happens with me. Maybe that’s the best indicator that I am not traveling in the right direction in life. Its becoming increasing aimless these days; its as if I am allowing myself to drift along with the strong waves of a rampant river. I am giving now resistance to the bad things that happen to me; moreover I am starting to take it as the norm.

Its not that I don’t what to change. But irrespective all my efforts to make a change in the way I am, nothing seems to change. Its really troublesome; its really painful. Unfortunately I don’t find a way out. Is it that destiny has consigned me to live a life of despair riddled with pasted smiles all over? Don’t worry rest of the word; I am still smiling – even if its not exactly what I want to do at this point of time. I guess that’s what destiny has installed for me – life of abject despair…

Elections With A Message

2008-12-18T20:33:00.003+05:30

In between the events of 26/11 where a bunch of goons made a blatant attack on the financial hub of our country, and the eventual ramifications of that dastardly attack and heads rolling on the basis of accountability, there was something very interesting that caught my eyes. It was the elections that happened to the six state assemblies – four of them being in the hindi heartland of Indian polity. These elections were touted as the semi finals; and were supposed to give an indicator on where the nation is heading to on the eve of the general elections to the Indian Parliament just six months from now. I have doubts on whether these elections can be called as indicators to the nation’s mood – given what happened in these states five years ago. It was again called the semifinals to the general elections of 2004; and buoyed by the enormous success it got in these states, the then ruling NDA in Delhi called for early elections. What happened next is history – as they were pummeled to submission by the opposition, and the opposition UPA [though it was a name created only after the elections were done and dusted with] came into power.

Before going into what came in as the results, the fact that elections were done, and large electoral turnout was witnessed in these lections make it a triumph of Indian democracy. The common man had lots of issues that would have stopped him from voting – from the chilling winter up north to the fear of the naxals in central India; from the apathy towards politicians to the fear of security in the aftermath of the Mumbai attacks – the odds were heavily stacked against a elections being called as a success. To be honest, I had my own apprehensions about the elections being a successful one. But as usual the Indian electorate was more than willing to surprise me. The came to the polling booths in large numbers to exercise the biggest power that they have – the vote; which enables them to decide who is it that would rule them. At no time in the recent past have I been more enthusiastic and hopeful about the state of the Indian democracy.

Now to the results – if I were to use one term to indicate the results of these elections, it would be “maturity”. This election was undoubtedly the one that marked the coming of age of the Indian voter. They voted with amazing maturity – not to be swayed by the things that happened immediately before the elections – like the Mumbai carnage. Instead they evaluated the performance of the governments that ruled them for the last five years. It was amazing to see three chief ministers voted back to power. It was a clear signal from the common man in the street that if you give him the results, he is more than happy to vote the incumbent back to power. This is perhaps the first elections in a long time where development was the key issue; and kudos for the voters to have identified it. They said an affirmative “no” to all the divisive tactics that the politicians are masters of providing, and demanded performance. While doing so, it gave a very firm message that meritocracy is finally starting to be the defining aspect of Indian elections.

Emotionally Burnt

2008-12-14T00:28:00.004+05:30

If you ask me what is the most difficult thing in life to handle – it would be to allow yourself to sink in to a fact that someone whom you value a lot, doesn’t value you at all. When a situation like that happens, its literally a fight between your brain which says – its all over; and your mind which would still like to have that hope – that its completely unreal and just an illusion. It’s a fight between the pretexts of reality and romanticism. As in everything else in life, the reality bites you hard, while the romanticism of the relationship just stops you from accepting anything bad at all on this. Its like hitting a stone wall; neither your brain nor your mind budge an inch. It’s a fight within your inner self, which makes you feel having an unbearable amount of emotional distress.

Many a times I have wondered why this happens. Is it because of the basic human emotions? Is it because of the ability of a human being to distinguish between what he perceives good and what he perceives bad? Or is it because we are just biologically like that? I really don’t know the answer to that. Maybe I should talk to some psychologist; or an expert on the human mind for an answer. The only thing that I know is that its an extremely painful thing. How do I know that – because I am going through one of those phases at this point of time. And when you experience something like that, it becomes all the more convincing an argument to yourself. It takes a lot out of you; as it is for me now – every single thing that you did with that person come to haunt you; you want to run away from all of that; but you can’t. Every moment looks like some sort of a nightmare; every thought about that person becomes an episode of agony. The farther you try to sun away from it, the closer it appears to be to you. All those things that you did to make that relationship work would start telling stories of follies in life. All those sacrifices that you made for being with that person and maintain that relationship comes back as question marks on your judgments. Tears flow uncontrollably from your eyes; you want to stop then; but the only thing that you seem to be able to do is to allow more tears to flow. Its harsh – it really is.

I tried to look at why this happens. Me being a person who is predominantly driven by the mind than by the brain; makes sure that this happens at an alarming regularity. It takes a very long time for me to come out of it. As my friends would call me, I am an emotional fool – someone who is swayed a bit too much by the emotions of life; someone whom you cant classify as being pragmatic in life. It becomes vitally important for me to find out why this phenomenon happens with me. I guess its got to do with the expectations that we attach with every relationship. Everything in life, no matter how saintly you are in your thoughts and deed, works on the principle of give and take. When you invest a whole lot of things in a relationship, you do expect something back. The relationship can be anything – maybe good friends, maybe life partners or maybe even good neighbors. In every scenario you do expect something back. When you don’t get it; when the relationship doesn’t seem to go the way you hoped it would go; that’s where the problem starts. That’s when you start questioning the worthiness of everything. And when you realize that, things are not in the way you hoped it would be in, that’s where you feel let down. After all, emotional breakdown is a whole lot more difficult to get over compared to any physical losses.

The obvious question that can come up at this point of time would be – why not have a relationship where the expectations back are nothing? Well, that’s not the way a human mind works I guess… At least not mine…

Wakeup Call

2008-12-08T00:43:00.002+05:30

The Mumbai attacks of 26/11 will always remain as a watershed moment in the history of India. It was a day that forced may liberals in this country get converted by the “Enough Is Enough” mantra, and started to take a more aggressive posture on matters related to national security. Even a normally calm and composed Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Sing seemed to be agitated by the way things have been going. The citizens of various cities across the length and breadth of this country came up in arms against the ineptitude shown by the government. But if we had expected the politicians of this country to rise up to the occasion, then all of us were sadly mistaken. Even in an hour of crisis, the politicians of this country were more than happy to be bickering on petty interests even as the city was burning.

It sounds absolutely absurd to believe that it took almost four days for the ruling party in the state of Maharashtra to decide on its new Chief Minister; once the incumbent resigned taking “moral responsibility” of the terrorist attack. These are the things that make me fell that the entire democratic setup here is becoming some sort of a farce. When the city was yearning for some decisive leadership, after a traumatic tryst with terror, what is it that they get in response from the politicians – no governance at all what so ever. The Indian democratic structure is in such a way that, when the head of the government resigns, his cabinet as well resigns. Now we are left with a situation where there are no ministers at all. The entire government mechanism has come to a standstill. Is this what this country deserves in a time of crisis like this? Off course not… This is where the politicians have failed; and failed miserably.

When such a thing plays out in front of a common man, I won’t fault him when he comes up and says he has lost faith in the democratic setup that we have; when he says that he no longer trust the politicians. Is it a grave offence to expect some sort of commitment from the politicians towards the common man? There were a few comments that came on TV where some politicians were more than keen to bash up this so called “anti-politician” movement that is gathering momentum in the cities. Well, my answer for them – do your job honestly; no one would ever bash you up. It’s the disconnect that the common man feels that the politician has that is making them feel that they are no longer required. It’s a crisis in confidence that this country now feels with the ruling class. It’s a dangerous habit to have for a democratic society; the basic premise of any democracy is the faith that the citizen entrusts on the leaders. The very moment that is lost, it’s a hit on the foundations of the democratic setup. So to the leaders; better wake up and get your house in order.

Inept And Insipid

2008-12-03T00:07:00.003+05:30

How much more insipid can a politician be? In a country that is experiencing a confidence crisis in the political class, the ways some of these leaders have behaved has in no means helped in enhancing the tarnished image. The common man of this country is fed up with the constant politicization of each and every thing that happens in this country. And to add oil to the already raging fire of anger towards the ruling elite, some of the leaders have been absolutely novice in they way they have responded and behaved to a national crisis. Perhaps this is the moment then the faith in our rulers has been at its lowest. They failed miserably in protecting us; and now they are increasingly showing the country that they are no leaders either. Their actions and words seems to be increasingly indicative of the cancer that has engrossed our political elite.

To start off, the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition seems to be so far apart from each other that they can’t even travel together to a site of national horror. The entire nation waited for a small gesture of unity between these two leaders. But what did they get in return – the two of them came in two different flights, each more than keen to score political points. Had they come together, it would have been the best possible message that the country would have given – in the moments of crisis, this is country where political affiliations and ideologies take a back seat, and national interest becomes paramount. Instead by coming separately, they sent out a message that all these claims of being united as a nation are just a farce and a myth. What comes primary for this country’s leaders are the personal gains and ambitions. The fact that these two leaders couldn’t be together in an hour of crisis clearly indicated the hypocrisy that the politicians have come to represent in this country. Later on, when an all party meeting was called on the issue of terrorism, the top brass of the opposition felt that campaigning for the state assembly election was more important than putting in the heads together and discussing the means to get this country out of the crisis that it finds itself in now.

Then we get to see the Indian politician who is clearly opportunist. The way the Chief Minister of Gujrat flipped his opinion about the chief of the Anti Terror Squad of the Mumbai police, would have made a chameleon wowed. Just a few days before his death, he was called as a pawn of vested interests by the Chief Minster, since he had arrested few whom the Chief Minister felt was not guilty. His integrity was questioned, credibility doubted. But as soon as he died, the same Chief Minister was more than happy to call him a martyr and a great son of the land. He didn’t forget to offer a huge amount of money for the family of the ATS chief. The self dignity of his family ensured that they are not to fall into this trap, and needless to say the Chief Minister has been embarrassed in the public domain by this snub. The spin doctors around would be more than capable of modifying the entire story; but the fact remains that the opportunism of the Chief Minister has come in the open.

The next set of politicians that we got to see in this entire episode was a bunch of brash and arrogant politicians. The names that come into my mind are those of the Maharashtra Chief Minister and his deputy. Here is one CM who walks around the Taj Mahal Hotel after the attack performing the now infamous “Terror Tourism”. When he is questioned by the press about the insensitivity of his actions, he is arrogant enough to try and justify that he has done nothing wrong. Then there is his deputy he proclaims in a press meet that in big cities like Mumbai, small incidents like the terrorist attacks are common. Well… I don’t have words to express the brash nature of politicians like these. Is it their ignorance; or is it because of the big disconnect that exists between them and the common man who elects them? Then there is a senior leader of an opposition party that criticizes the protests happening in Mumbai, questioning the correctness of it. He seemed to be angry at the cynicism shown by the public towards the politicians, and likened it to the separatist movements in the Kashmir valley. Does he believe that the people should accept whatever the political class throws onto them without ever questioning them?

And then there is a comical image of the Chief Minister of Kerala who has no hesitation in humiliating the family of a martyr, who gave up his life for the country. I guess he doesn’t consider the death of this brave NSG commando as something that has any value at all. Remember he belongs to party that called a strike the day the brutal dictator from Iraq Saddam Hussein was hanged. That gives an idea whom he and his party give value to. That very response justifies the way the father of the slain soldier reacted to the news of the Chief Minister coming to his house to mourn the death of his son. This is a Chief Minister who didn’t feel necessary to even send out a message of condolence when the news came out of the soldier’s death. When the local media started criticizing this ineptness; that was when the Chief Minister decided to pay a visit. I was not surprised by the reaction of the father there. Any self respecting citizen would have reacted in that way. Why on earth would you want to see someone not genuine in giving respect to someone? Kudos to the way he reacted. These politicians do need some stern responses.

These are some of examples of how rotten our political system has become. I feel ashamed at the way our rulers have reacted. At the same time I am dead sure that the political class would be least worried about all of these. After all, all they want is to continue their stranglehold on power at any cost – be it even by showing absolute contempt to the people of this country.

A Myth Shattered

2008-12-02T14:35:00.002+05:30

“Enough Is Enough” – that seems to be the punch line of every Indian these days. And sensing that mood, NDTV 24x7 has decided to put that as their punch title on their prime time show every night. The show is invariably anchored by Dr. Roy from the New Delhi studios and with Barkha Dutt and Sreenivasan Jain, his two trusted lieutenants joining in from Mumbai. Similar programs are being aired across the news channels in the country. Security experts seems to be in huge demand with the way things are going – they literally run from one TV studio to the other. The common man in the street is asked their opinion on what has happened. For a change, the common man seems to have a voice through these programs. On the face of it, it’s an effort to bring out the voice of the city and its people whose stories of resilience is iconic. And more importantly it’s turning out to be a medium to express the anger the people have towards the system, the politicians, the babus of the country and in ineptness shown by the system in the entire episode. Over the past few days I have seen people venting out their anger; radical suggestions coming in, and a serious scrutiny happening on TV. All of it is good; for a strong democracy to survive, it requires a very strong media capable of dissecting everything that happens in the country.

I somehow have this feeling that this time the reaction from the government may not be as clumsy as what it was all through these years. All of a sudden the government is put under the pressure to make itself seen as doing something. And all the public pressure has started to show its results – political heads have started to roll. First it was the Union Home Minister, and then the top brass of the Maharashtra government is also on its way out. After a long time, the politicians are under serious pressure; and they are definitely wilting under it – probably because they are not used to all of these. Next in line for the heads to be rolled would be that of the officials. Finally we are getting to see some sense of accountability amongst the ruling class.

On one hand, I am happy with the way this accountability has come into the system, but I am perplexed by the fact that this didn’t come earlier. Where were these cries when bombs used to explode in various cities across the country, and innocents had to give up their lives? Admitted that Mumbai’s tryst with terror was the worst of the lot; but accountability should have been fixed long back, when even a single citizen of this country was killed by some dastardly act of terror. What makes the things different this time? Yeah… the big difference this time compared to the previous attacks is that this time the rich and the affluent are the ones that had to die. Does that reflect in the way the media is on the aggressive about the way things are run? The normally cynical upper class in the society who used to be silent while disasters strike the nation is angry now, because they are directly under threat. Why didn’t these voices of dissent come up when the Mumbai’s life line – the metro was attacked? Probably because the so called elite were not the victims. I am not trying to make this huge disaster look like some sort of a class war that is there in the society. Its just an observation of someone who used to look at the cynicism by most of the affluent class when pain is inflicted on the underprivileged. It was never their problem. It was beautifully summarized when one of the “socialite” came on TV in one of the shows and expressed her fear towards the city, saying that earlier it never directly affected them when the blasts occurred in the local trains and the BEST buses; but when it happened in the posh restaurants of Mumbai, where these people go regularly, they feel threatened.

These are the same people who would do the chest thumping yelling at the top of their voice on the so called “Spirit of Mumbai”. To be honest, I don’t think their spirit has never been tested till the dastardly events of 27th of November, 2008. It was the spirit of a poor lower middle and lower class Mumbaikar that was tested. They went out not because they were insensitive to what has happened, or to show that they are not afraid of the terrorists. They went out because they had no choice. If they didn’t go out, food wont be available on their dinner table. Its that compulsion that forced them to go out to work the next day after they were attacked. The media called it the “Spirit of Mumbai”, where as it was just an average Mumbaikar’s struggle to make his ends meet. It would have sounded as pure mockery to the ears of the average Mumbaikar when he hears this spirit theory. He suppresses his fear within, and still manages to have a smile on his face, and go around doing his day to day work. When the yelling elite got tested for their spirit, I have to admit that they have failed miserably. They are no longer yelling at the top of their voice on the “Spirit of Mumbai”; instead they are complaining about the “Fear in the Streets” of Mumbai. Life indeed makes you do very strange things…

War Within A War

2008-11-28T17:32:00.002+05:30

In what is turning out to be the first ever terrorist attack in India played on live television across the length and breadth of this country, it is fast becoming more of a hindrance than a blessing. Its some sort of a war within a war – where the television networks are fighting for the bites and exclusive videos. Round the clock coverage of this sort of carnage is good as it provides for much wanted information, but beyond a limit it becomes perfect publicity for the horror that these terrorists are unleashing. As they say any publicity is good publicity. And as one of the analysts put in, the 24x7 coverage that’s given is the best advertisement to what they are doing. And the way the electronic media is covering this entire thing – with absolutely no sense or sensitivity or intelligence, where information is allowed to the public domain without any analysis, it makes me wonder if this continuous coverage is of any use at all what so ever. The media is latching on to this as if it’s their last opportunity for survival.

In less than 8 hours of this huge crisis starting, the big shots of the Indian electronic media – the so called glamorous newspersons of Indian electronic media was in the so called Ground Zero - be it Rajdeep Sardesai of CNN-IBN, Barkha Dutt and Sreenivasan Jain from NDTV, Arnob Goswami from Times Now; all of them were in the thick of the action and were literally waging a battle of their own – to have the maximum TRP for their respective television channels. The main players of the television houses fought for one upmanship; every five minutes producing a “Breaking News” or an “Exclusive Footage”. It was absolutely appalling to see the news been thrown into the public domain without any analysis or verification done. Rumors became the “Flash News” as moments passed bye; and the fear started trickling into the minds of the people watching the shows. There was absolutely no objectivity in the way the news was given out; and all that one could see was a whole lot of sensationalism. Blame it on the aggressive battle that is been pitched between the news channels or the alarming ineptness with the TV journalists; at times the coverage was nothing but shambolic.

One of the things that really caught my eyes was the insensitive nature of the reporters. The best example for that came in when one of the hostages came out of the hotel after almost 24 hours of captivity, absolutely drained physically mentally and emotionally. What is it that he gets to see after that? A swarm of over enthusiastic TV journalists running at him thrusting those irritating mikes poking into his nose. For them, it was just a “Breaking News” or and “Exclusive Video”. People cant become more insensitive than this for sure. Is it the over zealous attitude of these journalists to show that they are best; or is it that their bosses in the media demands this sort of response from them? To say that this was irritating is an understatement. I found it frustrating watching that while being at the comforts of my house. Just imagine how bad that person who was poked at would have felt. This was a disgraceful coverage of the entire episode; where the corporate fight was brought into the fore, and a national tragedy was made a vehicle for that.

The other aspect of this appalling coverage was the way news was allowed to get out. Rumors were given the official stamp of confirmation when it became “Breaking News” on the TV channels. From a responsible TV station, one would expect some level of professionalism and authenticity in the way news is provided outside. People watch these channels because they associate a certain element of accurateness in the way the news is provided. If rumors are published like confirmed news, people tend to believe them; especially when it comes from TV channels that they have been following for many years. Overnight there were so many news that were mentioned as “unconfirmed reports” of additional terror strikes and even riots in Mumbai across channels. And strangely none of them were true. The net result of it all – more fear was instilled into the minds of the people in the city who were already worried of what was happening around them. Is this professionalism? Why one earth would you have to make those these “Unconfirmed Reports” as “Breaking News”? Why cant these people wait till the authenticity of that new item is verified? No… they won’t, because it’s a war for capturing the TRP ratings. And every damn thing is fair for these TV channels in war. Be it by providing added agony to its viewers, or sending out false alarms. I wont be surprised if some day these folks on the media would plant something bad like a riot or an attack, just to quench their never ending thirst for success in the TRP ratings. Fed up with this blatant rumor mongering that was going on resulting in the increasing uneasiness in the city, the city authorities were quick to black out the TV news channels in the city – completely sensible from the authorities.

Another absurd thing that evolved during the “Live Coverage” was sending out information of how the security agencies are trying to counter attack the terrorists. Many security experts questioned why this is being done; but the media moughals were not keen on taking them off the air. We had reporters reporting live on where the commandos were, what they are doing and what they were trying to do. Anyone with the slightest of the senses would have understood that this kind of information would be helping the people inside. One stupid argument that was given by the folks in the media was that it wont be too much of an issue since all cable connections within the hotels were disconnected, and the terrorists don’t have the means of witnessing these. I guess the person who said this is completely out of this world. Hasn’t he heard about cell phones and satellite phones that the terrorists would have been taking along with them? It was so very easy for someone sitting far away from Mumbai – maybe even out of the country, to watch these visuals and help the terrorists holed inside the hotel, helping them in their resistance. In this mad run for being in the top of the TRP ratings, the top journalists have shunned their senses as well…

Media is a very powerful medium in ensuring that the society moves in the right track. It’s a common man’s opening to the world. And it needs to be responsible in the way it behaves. But when the media acts with absolute contempt of this responsibility, people start calls for regulations on the media, which on expected norms would be unacceptable for the bosses. But the way the media behaved in the past couple of days covering this tragedy that has engulfed our nation, regulation is something that is definitely worth a thought.

When Mumbai Was Attacked...

2008-11-28T12:05:00.002+05:30

Yes… its happened again. An audacious attack on India’s most prestigious city, the city that never sleeps, the city of opportunities and dreams, one of the biggest financial hubs of the world and for sure the city that everyone in India takes immense pride on. With each passing hour, I feel it was more an attack on India and the values that it stands for, rather than to a single city. This was a classical example of a Fidayeen attack as what the security forces in the country would call – where there are a bunch of highly motivated suicide mercenaries, not afraid of being killed, would want to create as much terror, death destruction and panic as possible before their lives part away from them. The security forces consider this to be a routine form of attack in Kashmir by the terrorists there. But what is staggering was that this form of attack was taken into the heart of India’s biggest city. It brings chill to the bones when you see these young men in their twenties carrying heavy duty ammunition attack what is considered my many as the heart of this country. They carried out attack on the posh South Mumbai hotels – some of them being the place where the who is who of India meet up to decide on deals worth billions. If those places are not safe where else is it safe. I am not trying say that the posh South Mumbai must be safer than a slum in Andheri – both places deserve to be equally safe. But what this attack has ensured is that the myth of being safe in some of these posh and so called high profile locations have been shattered for ever.

Lots of people are to answer some really tough questions; most of it would be to the home minister of this country which takes care of the internal security. How many more bomb blasts and attacks by terrorists are required for the “honorable” home minister to open his eyes and realize that not everyone in this country has Z category protection; and that the life of a common man in the streets of Mumbai or Bengaluru is as important as his? How many more people should give up their lives for no fault of their own before he recognizes what his job is? Almost five years as the home minister, he has gone through an era that had more terror attacks than ever, more people killed in the streets and malls of various cities in this country. I have lost count of the cities of this country that has been attacked by the terrorists in the past couple of years alone – New Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Bengaluru, Ahmedabad, Varanasi, Surat, Jaipur and many more. I guess he is the modern day Nero for us; when India is burning, he seems to be busy changing his attire multiple times a day, not even thinking what is happening to many on the streets. I am getting sick with this image of Home Minister coming up on TV addressing the media giving the death count. His face and body language clearly shows confusion and ignorance of the ground realities. More often than not he looks like a person completely devoid of ideas. In moments like these, what the nation looks forward is for someone who is determined and willing to lead the nation out of a crisis. And what are we getting – someone who speaks like a meek cat meowing. I have a lot of respect to Dr. Manmohan Sing as a leader and to some level as an administrator. But I have to admit that his judgment on the Home Minister in this cabinet has gone horribly wrong. If you were in a corporate environment, so many consecutive failures would have resulted in the executive loosing his job. But then why is it that the Home Minister still manages to hold on to his post? The Home Minister is not someone who should be given an on-the-job training; especially in a country like ours where the problems are so diverse and deep rooted. And for God’s sake – not a four year on-the-job training. Or is it that the Home Minister has been given a free reign? Has he been ensured that no matter how incompetent he is, no matter how many cities of this country is attacked, no matter how many innocent people are killed, he will get to retain his job? Is accountability a big no-no for this government?

Another issue that needs to be addressed is our preparedness in tackling such a scenario. Here we have the terrorists landing up at the Gateway of India as if they have come here on some vacation, with bags filled with arms and ammunition, and walk into one of the most posh hotels in this country; and there was no one to intercept them. The initial indicators show that they took the same route as what the terrorists took in 1993 blasts, and nothing was done to stop them from doing so. I accept that India has a very long coast line and its borders are extremely hard to patrol to ensure zero porosity. But when you are aware that this is a path that cane be undertaken to attack our country, why is it that it was not taken care of. I can accept that it was a mistake way back in 1993. But to repeat that mistake 15 years down the lane is a cardinal sin. Is it that we haven’t learned any lesions from the carnage in 1993? Or is it just that we don’t want to learn anything and correct ourselves? If one thought things cant get worse than that, then he or she is painfully wrong. Imagine the terrorists going around in a hijacked car shooting the people all around them indiscriminately, and the administration being completely helpless about it all. That’s the worst scenario one can ever be in. This was Mumbai, a vibrant city indicative of a vibrant society that we live in; and not an unruly lawless city in a civil war struck city in Africa. I read somewhere that it took almost three hours for the government to give sanction to the elite commando forces of NSG to be in action. Another couple of hours for them to be moved from New Delhi to Mumbai ensured that the terrorists had a free reign in the city. These are the only forces in this country trained to tackle these kind of issues, and it took an eternity for the political bosses to decide whether they should be called in or not. That’s where I feel the preparedness was lacking in tackling this sort of attack. Had they been involved straight away, who knows, the entire ordeal would have been over by now, and the nation wouldn’t have been kept on ransom by a bunch of terrorists for so long. But one has to admire the valor grit and bravery that the commandos have shown in tackling the issues even in this sort of an environment.

I am not for bringing in some draconian laws in the name of tacking terror which can be used by opportunistic politicians in this country for meeting their own needs. But for sure the leadership can bring in tougher laws to which are not draconian in nature to fight this menace. As one of the analysis from Israel told on an Indian news channel yesterday, “this is India’s problem. And if India doesn’t tackle this issue, no one would be able to tackle it”. For long, we as a nation have been very reactive to terrorist attacks. There hasn’t been even a single step taken proactively by the establishment – and that includes all the successive governments that have ruled us in the recent past. The previous government had a very strong anti terror law with it, which many touted as draconian, but still couldn’t stop multiple attacks on various cities, and even at the citadel of Indian democracy – the Indian Parliament. Ironically, it was only when the Indian Parliament was attacked that the law makers became aggressive. Well, that in itself tells a story – doesn’t it? When their lives were under threat, they were aggressive. In a way that tells a lot about the ruling class of ours – they get into action only when they are threatened; and they are completely insensitive to the common man in the street.

I have heard calls for military rule and so called People’s Revolution from the common man in the street as a result of the anger towards the latest terror attack. It sounds completely absurd for me, as I still believe that a democratic setup where normal individuals like us have a voice is the best way to tackle issues that we face. These continuous terror attacks that we have faced hasn’t changed my thinking even the slightest bit. My pride in my country and my faith in the principles that it stands for are still unflinching. But it pains within when I see the inaction from the people whom we voted to power. The people who are supposed to protect us, guide us through turbulent times are proving to be extremely weak and inept. A serious shake up is required at the government level and serious action needs to be undertaken, or else the nation will never forgive this government for the inaction and ineptness that this government seems to exemplify. We are a resilient country and a resilient society, which has the capability to overcome any hurdle that comes against us. The brave men and women in the uniforms of this country, and their selfless and death-defying actions in making sure that our cities and borders are safe are exemplary. Even after these terrible incidents that have produced scars in the psyche of the spirit of the city, the resilience that all of us Indians have in common, the faith and confidence in the values that we as a society and nation uphold, would make sure that the people of Mumbai would wake up and go on with their lives; with that strong and loud message to the proponents of hate and terror, that no number of terrorist attacks would be sufficient to make us walk away from the principles and beliefs, that we as a nation collectively hold and take pride in.

One final word on the brave men who laid their lives on the call of duty. Some of the best officers of Mumbai police and the Indian armed forces lost their lives in their efforts to save the city from the hands of the terrorists. Your martyrdom will always be remembered; your bravery will always be an inspiration. And I hope your sacrifice will never go in vain.

Yes We Can

2008-11-28T09:58:00.002+05:30

He has done it. Barack Obama has become the first African-American president of the United States. In what is nothing short of path breaking in the world history, a non-white has become the most powerful man on earth. Son of a black Kenyan immigrant and an American white woman, he is now the new leader of the free world as the Americans would put it. Its significant in many ways, because the racial undertones that characterize the US. Here is someone who is becoming the president not because he is black, but because he is the best person suited for the job. He never asked people to vote for him because he is black and belongs to a racial minority, instead he asked for the votes based on the policies. It’s a brilliant case study of meritocracy winning over all the societal barriers.

The first time I saw this man on TV was in the Democratic Convention of 2004, when a little known senator from Illinois came to speak. The name of the speech was “Audacity of Hope”. I still remember that day – early morning in India when I was about to leave for work, I accidentally bumped into CNN which was beaming the convention, and there was this loud cheer for this young African American man coming on stage. It was time for me to leave for office, but couldn’t. I was completely captivated by the oratory skills of this young man, and at that point of time, I felt that he speaks as good as Martin Luther King, if not better. This speech was giving me goose bumps. I would rate this speech at par with my all time favorite – “I have a dream” speech from Martin Luther King. Something said within me that this person is special. But never in my wildest dreams did I expect him to be the President of the United States; not because I had doubts on his abilities, but because I had doubts on the ability of the United States to have a president that is non-white. I am happy that I have been proven wrong. I guess it’s a triumph for the entire humanity in its pursuit for racial equality.

I don’t think there has been an American Presidential election that evoked more interest in India than this. Everyone seemed to be following this election. Everyone had an opinion on who should be the president on the United States. I felt that if India was to vote for the President of the US, Obama would have had a landslide. Such was his popularity here. People liked him in India even with all the apprehensions that Indians had towards his policies on outsourcing, Kashmir etc… Probably we wanted to see a change happening in front of our eyes. And indeed it happened. I am sure that when Wolf Blitzer called Senator Obama as President elect Obama on CNN as the elections came to a close on the west coast of the US, there was a huge amount of happiness and relief amongst Indians as well. The dire scenario that we find the world economies in, the never ending wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, all of it resulted in people all across the world hoping that there is a change in the way US is run – a new leader for the world order. And indeed it happened.

November 4, 2008 will always be remembered in history – the day when this self made African-American became the most powerful man on earth; the day when racial divides were thrown apart into the dustbins of history in the world’s most powerful nation; the day when history was made. I feel that I was lucky to be witness to that day. As he said in his victory speech:

This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we cant, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes We Can

He mentioned this about the United States. But its not that different for the entire world. If an African-American can sell the dreams of a better future to America, and become its President, then “Yes We Can” change the way the world is. “Yes We Can” make the impossible happen. “Yes We Can” go away from the historical baggage that we carry along. “Yes We Can” make this world a better place to live… Winning an election is one thing, and running the country is entirely different. I just hope that President Obama lives up to the expectations of the people all across the world, and works for a more inclusive world order. But those are things that would happen later. For now, I am just thrilled to see the change happening at the highest seat of power on earth. Jeez… I was so fed up of President Bush. Wonder how our Prime Minister managed to call him the most loved American President!!! Though that comment made me realise one thing – Dr. Manmohan Sing does have a sense of humor…

Battle Of Ideologies

2008-11-19T23:32:00.005+05:30

These days I am kind of fixed to what many in the US media considers as the battle of the ideologies run on national television – the legendary battle between Bill O’Reily of Fox News and Keith Olbermann of MSNBC. My favorite pass time these days is to watch the videos online on youtube where these two greats of TV industry go head to head. It varies from plain absurdity to bloody brilliant. What makes these videos so good is the two central characters involved – these are two individuals who have firm view points on issues, and make no bones about it. The don’t seem to be the kind of news men I hate – have one set of thoughts; and talk about something else. Their battle played across the US on their respective shows – The O’Reily Factor on Fox News and Countdown on MSNBC, in many ways is a battle that is fought full fledged in our society – between the conservatives and the liberals. Bill O’Reily is a staunch conservative, while Olbermann seems to be the flag bearer of liberal thought in America.

What makes me have interest in the battle between these two gentlemen being waged far away from me? I guess it’s the ideology aspect. This battle is fought in every society – from coast to coast, mountains to the beaches. Accept it or not, there is this big battle that is been fought in every aspect of life around us. I consider myself to be a liberal, and hence my views could be skewed in that aspect. But I would definitely like to see a more liberal approach that our society takes. The last thing that I want would be to have a moral police around me dictating what I should be doing and what I shouldn’t. I would also not want a law enforcing police fore around me armed with draconian rules, which would help them to have a stranglehold on me with regards to my behavioral patterns. No way would I want my privacy given away; being snooped by every security agency in the country just because I happen to oppose some of the views of the people in power. I don’t want my right to disagree being taken away from me. Most importantly, I don’t want to be in a George Bush country – where the thought process is “its always either my way, or highway”. I would like to be in a society where personal choices are respected – be it in the case of being involved in a live-in relationship or be it with regards to anything that is completely dependent on the way an individual wants to lead his life without breaking any of the fundamental laws of the land. When I mention about these views to my friends, they comfortably label me as an extremist liberal, who doesn’t think the normal way.

Is liberalism the answer for all the problems that we face in our society? I don’t know. At least I would like to believe that a liberal society would be more inclusive than a conservative one. There have been many occasions when I tried to figure out if being so much of a liberal is right or not. Not even once have I come up with a thought that I shouldn’t be so liberal in my thoughts. I feel when you are a liberal, an individual is empowered. Again, my views might be skewed… No wonder I love Keith Olbermann when he lashes out at the conservatives, makes mockery of their representatives, become fire brand when advocating liberalism.

Relationships - Views Of A Born Cynic

2008-07-26T22:37:00.004+05:30

There is this friend of mine who wanted me to restart writing – as she felt that I am pretty decent at it. Hmm… This is the first time that someone has actually said that I am decent in what I write. So the deal was that she would tell me the subject on which I am to write. After lots of thinking from her part – she came up with no subject!! Guess she is still thinking. I had told her to watch out for this space, come Monday. A promise is a promise; and hence I decided to write something.

After a bit of thought I decided to write about relationships. Yeah – the same thing that some have in plenty; some just keep on waiting and starving for it; the same thing that some value a lot on their lives; some take it for granted. It’s a tricky thing – isn’t it? Some people hit on their tracks very quickly. Call it chemistry or whatever, but they are extremely lucky ones. At the same time there are situations when they live together for years, be together for what seems like an eternity, but still they know very little about each other. For me, relationships are all about knowing what the other person is, understanding what the other person wants from you, and adjusting your tastes and lifestyles accordingly. Sounds very simple, but I guess it’s a very difficult thing to be in. Ask all the divorcees in this world; ask it to all the people who have hurt their hands in a relationship. To find that right person in life, one needs to be extremely lucky. Invariably doing all those adjustments to make the vehicle called life to roll on, would drive a person to the extend where he or she forgets to realize about his or her life. The feeling that all these adjustments that are being done are not worth it, is the one that leads people to call it an end to a relationship.

I as an individual am very much against this concept of an arranged marriage. As human beings, all of us should have the right to choose the individual with whom we want to spend our life with. People might argue that an arranged marriage is just a facilitation process, where the parents of the prospective bride and groom are just helping them out in getting things done, and the choice of whether to live together or not is completely up to the individuals involved. On the face of it, it sounds correct. But if we take the pains of looking at it a bit more deeply, it’s a different story all together. How many parents in our society would be willing to agree to a marriage of their son or daughter to someone who is much lower to them in finances, social standing? Has the institution of marriage stooped to a level where it has become a show off; an indicator to show where you stand in the society? That’s where I have a problem with. Whether my apprehensions are valid or not, does it have any standing in the way society goes on… I don’t know. But these are strong reasons that I have for not agreeing to the concept of an arranged marriage. For me, they are more of an agreement between two families to enhance their standing in the society, and has very little to do with the individuals involved. That’s the reason why I believe all these huge adjustments needs to be done in life, which in a way results in the individuals involved forgetting what it is being themselves.

I guess, I am a born cynic – the way my thought process goes gives an indicator to that. But unless I get a strong alternate view point, I stick with my views. My friend says I am a complicated character; guess she got it spot on…

When Loneliness Start to Cry….

2008-03-25T18:56:00.010+05:30

There are times when even though there are thousands around, you feel as if you are all alone. When that feeling comes to ones system, he/she feels as if there is no virtue for life. In all probability I am going through that sort of a feeling within me. I can sense hollowness in my life – a vacuum that doesn’t seem to get filled by any means. It’s like being in the middle of an ocean, and as far as the eyes can go, there is water. There seems to be no end to it, and there is no shore at sight. I try to look at myself and see if there is a way to come out of this sinking feeling that I have within me. Unfortunately, I can’t see any. The whole idea of finding happiness in life is a very tricky one to conceive. More often than not, we are not sure what is that gives us that happiness. And then we just keep on running after things hoping that it would be the one that changes it all for you – something that changes from a damp rainy day to a day of bright sunshine in your life. And from my experience, I can tell that one needs to be really lucky to get that happiness in life. And I find myself in that group of unlucky guys struggling to find that illusive happiness. I wandered along, but my goal was not there to be seen. And at the end of it, I can do nothing much… other than just cry at my state… Hope that gutted feeling of loneliness goes off from me soon, and then I can have a smile that comes from within; rather than the pasted ones that I am having these days.

A Good Friday to Remember

2008-03-25T14:49:00.009+05:30

Well, after a whole lot of uncertainties, I finally ended up at my hometown on Good Friday. I was greeted with the news that it’s a full day program at the church that day. Hmm… after a terrible travel in a bus, where the seat was pretty bad, that was the last thing that was there in my mind. But Good Friday being a day when we are all supposed to be in the church no matter what, I had no inhibitions in going to the church in an hour’s time after I reached my house. But I had decided that I won’t be staying back the whole day there. I would rather come back after the main events get over; and then go back to the church in the afternoon for the evening procession. Once the mass got over, things started to evolve right in front of my eyes. There was a new setup that got started; where we were to be given the rice porridge (kanji in Malayalam) from the church itself, so that no one would have to go home after that. I had expected that most of the people around would leave after the mass as in the previous years. But to my surprise, I saw the entire community stay back. Hmm… are the things changing? Maybe yes. I stayed back for having the porridge. It was a very special feeling to have it with the entire community which can’t be expressed in words. When the boundaries between the rich and the poor, the haves and the have-nots, elite and the common man vanishes, the only thing that remains is an overwhelming sense of togetherness. After a long time, I sensed it within me. Maybe that’s the spirit of Good Friday. Many people refer to Christ as the first socialist. And he must have definitely wanted a society that never had the distinction between people who comprise it.

My surprises were not going to end there either. Once the entire community had the porridge, it was time for the next master-stroke from the parish priest. Generally in our parish we had a problem in getting the people back for the evening procession, which for most of the churches in Kerala is the most important event. Once of the ways that the priest could think of for getting people in for this was to make sure that people never left the church after the morning events. The plan was to play the movie “Passion of the Christ” on a giant screen there. I had doubted this plan – especially in this age where DVDs are considered as a normal thing in the household. I assumed that most of the people would have seen this movie and would leave the church as soon as the movie starts playing. To my surprise, only a handful did. I wanted to go home back as I was dead tired after the overnight travel. There were frowns around as I walked out. Guess the people around were thinking why on earth is this guy going out now.

Once I reached home, a peculiar uneasiness started haunting me. Was it the right thing to do by going out? Questions of ethics started haunting me. You can fight against anyone in the world – but definitely not against God… After around thirty minutes of uneasiness, I decided to go back to the church. To my absolute surprise, the church was jam packed. The movie was still on, and people sitting were watching it with a strange combination of feelings – awe, fear, passion, faith. I sat in one of the corners of the church, and as much as watching the movie, I was watching the people around me, their emotions when the dramatic depiction of the persecution of Christ in the movie was shown on the screen. Oohs and Ahhs echoed in the hall, as the scenes of the movie sinked in the minds of people watching. I too started to get glued into the movie, trying to visualize the entire sequence of events. The movie went on and on, inflicting more mental pain and agony to the people who were watching it. Was there a tear in my eye when the movie ended? Probably there was. This was not the first time that I have watched this movie. But every time I watch this movie, the same thing happens. Once the movie got over, the priest announced that the procession was about to start. Normally you would expect people starting to vanish at this point of time. But this time around, things were a bit different. All the people there attended the procession, and the priest’s plan was working with pin point accuracy.
During the procession, my mind started to wander. The scenes of the movie were coming back time and time again. I felt agonized – yes, that’s the right word for it. This is a story that all Christians would know, and nothing path breaking is there in the movie. But there is something in the movie that touched my heart. Somewhere down the line I felt like all the misdeeds that I have had in my life were the reason for the pain that Christ had to endure. When life becomes cynical, and values in life irrelevant, there were things that I have done which would have gone against the spirit of what Christ was, is, and would be. I felt like an eternal sinner, someone who would fail the test of faith in Christ. Maybe that’s the spirit of repentance that the concept of Good Friday wants to convey.

Without doubt this has been the most influential Good Friday in my life. But is the feeling that I have within me just something that would be momentary – I don’t know. Maybe by the time it’s the next Good Friday, I might be able to tell…

The Seven New Wonders Of The World

2007-07-08T11:56:00.002+05:30

There are lots of ways in which you can make money out of; and the arrival of the internet and its influence on the modern day has just opened up a plethora of options to make money. One recent phenomenon that got completed which absolutely mastered the art of making money that popped up on the internet was this new phenomenon of selecting the seven new wonders of teh world. Run by a bunch of people who have very less credibility in the eyes of the establishments of the world, this phenomenon which started in 1999 seems to have snow balled into a big phenomenon. Come 2007, the 7th of July, it was the D-day - the day when the results will be revealed to the world.

Campaigns were run very aggressively - especially in India, where Taj Mahal was promoted with the highest possible jingoism ever. Emails floated around daily asking for people to vote online. I was also one of those millions who would have voted online, and when the pride of the nation was at stake, there was no way in which the I would have stayed away. So I voted. And when the results came out in what was a glittering ceremony in Lisbon, Portugal, the Taj was defenitely in. And the all the propaganda worked. Now what?

Now that the Taj is in the list of the seven new wonders of the world, are we going to do anything for this monument which is perhpas the identity of India for millions around the world? Or will we continue to kill this goose that lays golden eggs in the form of millions of dollors that the tourists visiting this place dump to this country? Will we continue to allow the greedy politicians of this country to keep on looting this monumental treasure? I guess going by experience, nothing will change. And what has been predicted by many experts will eventually happen - the Taj will go to its natural way to death.

The only thing that would have happened in this entire excercise would be that the people who ran the show would have made a whole lot of money - in the form of merchandise, internet advertisment, and God knows what else. Making money is an art; and these guys seems to be masters in that. As millions across the world would have visitied the website showing off their national pride, there would have been a bunch of people who would have been silently laughing seeing their bank accounts getting fatter and fatter - the guys running the show. Well, good job guys.. You know how to make money out of nothing.... :-)

Looking For Heroes

2007-03-24T18:39:00.002+05:30

Just like millions of cricket fans in the country [and perhaps millions of others outside] who were shocked by the pummelling that India got in the world cup, I have also made that short-sighted resolution - that I would never ever watch cricket. But in a nation and society that is so much into the game - a love and passsion that runs through our veins, I find it difficult to see for how much period of time my hate for the game is going to continue. As my roomie would say, it would last till India makes their next victory in ODI cricket, and then the entire nation is back watching this game. Maybe he is right. Cos thats what that has been happening for a long long time. Time and time again, our team has flattered to deceive in the world stage - the upset fans went on a rampage buring effigies of their cricketing heroes and many other historionics that are staged just for TV :-) [strangely on one of the TV channels today, there were a bunch of people who weere m orning the death of Indian cricketers. There were 11 corpses lying down signifying the playing 11, and there were people surrounding it mourning their death. TV cameras were around to capture the emotions. Surely one stage managed to get the attention of the TV]. But beyond all this hysteria, maybe its worthwhile to have a look at why we reract in extremes - make them heroes when they win a match, and bring them back to zeroes when they loose one. Are we a society that lacks patience? Are we a society that is highly intolerable? Are we a bunch of people who are looking desparately for heroes, and upon identifying them, we cant take in the fact that they maynot be the best? Maybe we are all of the above.

This is a nation that finds very few things to cheer about. That would sound strange when you look at an economy thats growing at close to 10% and an affluent middle class that is finding its voice heard more and more in the society. But still we are short of heroes. Why is this happening? Maybe its in our veins not to be the best. We are more than happy to be good, and our efforts end there. We dont strive to be the best. And thats where we have all the problems. We dont get heroes unless we are the best, and then we go around looking for heroes. We try to portray anything that is half decent as the best. And with what we have, prolbably cricket is the only thing off late (atleast in sports) where we are anywhere close to being the best at the world stage. As a part of our psyche, we hate to see fallen heroes. Human civilizations have always saluted the rising son, and have generally ignored the setting sun. We hate it when our heroes fail, and the cricketers are no different. In all of this, we forget to realise that its just a game. And in a game, there has to be a looser for someo0ne to be a winner.

I am not trying to justify the horrible show that the cricketers put up in teh Carribean. But then, bive it a break.. They were not good enough. Lets all mobve on - look for new heroes in our society.

College Days 1

2006-11-08T18:58:00.002+05:30

Was wandering my thoughts on my past - especially the days when we did MTech at CUSAT. Boy, those were some days. Some strange subjects being taught by some strange teachers to a bunch of strange students. Everything was weird there. Couple of things come straight into the mind.

There were instances where one lecturer thought that the easiest way out of the entire thing is to provide everything as assignments. Hence for a course that had five modules, 3 went in as assignments. (BTW, later I realised that assignments are synonymous with either the teacher not knowing how to teach, or the teacher is just not interested in teaching it). The paper was VLSI design. The teacher was so much pre-occupied with teaching the first of the five modules, that she forgot that there are four other modules left after that. She took the easiest way out by assigning 3 of the four as assignments, and God knows what happened to the final module. I presume it went missing. Atleast I havent heard of that module. Then came the semester exams, where we were supposed to study all five and write the paper. Ever had a feeling when u see a question paper in some pre-historic language inside an exam hall? I had that sinking feeling on that fateful day of VLSI Design paper. I call it the 8th miracle of the world that I managed to pass that paper in the first attempt. It made me realise one more thing - at times, miracles do happen in life. Its an even bigger contradiction in life that I am now a VLSI professional. Believe me, God has some really mysterious ways.

Then there was this legendary paper on "Advanced Digital Signal Processing". I believe the only purpose of the lecturer who taught that paper was to make us realise that we are not that advanced intellectually afterall. He used to have a common question to the class "I dont know through which GATE everyone sitting here came through". His obvious reference was to the GATE exam that everyone had to pass to get admission for MTech. He never thought that we were good enough. I am not sure if it resulted due to our standard being low or his standard being high. Neeedless to say, that paper was a complete disaster. The first of the sessionals were perhaps the turning point of it all. The exam was to cover only the basics of Digital Signal Processing. Well after studying DSP in previous year, we thought that we would be able to scrape through the paper without much damage being inflicted. All those hopes were like rawing on the sand in a beach. The question paper came like a tsunami wave and wiped us all from the ground. We were all floating - glaring at each other not able to understand anything that is written in the question paper. I still remember the first question - it was to find the inverse Z transform of a polynomial of order 30 in the numerator and 31 in the denominator. Well, something of a secong or third order polynomial in itself is hard enough to crack. Forget 30 and 31. They were insane. There was nothing much anyone could do. We all gave our answer sheets after an hours time. I still dont know what I was doing for that one hour. I was not understanding the questions. How was I going to answer anything. Few days after the exam, the lecturer came over to distribute the papers. He started reading out the marks. He had arranged them in roll numbers. Roll number 1 was the guy who had the top GATE score in the department, and the only intellectual in the class. The lecturer read out the marks "Four and a half", he said with a wry smile on his face. Poor roll number 1 almost fainted when he heard this. Topper in everything he studied, he would have never thought in his wildest dreams that he would get "Four and half" out of 20. The marks got worse as the roll numbers increased. The guy sitting next to me ws Roll number 5. The lecturer screamed "Who is Roll number 5??" My poor friend stood up. The lecturer continued "you have ZERO". All through my studies, I have never heard anyone getting zero in an exam. I didnt know what I should do - whether to sympathise with him, or to laugh, or to worry how bad my marks will turn out to be. "roll number 6", the lecturer called out. It was my number. I stood up, face pointing to ground. I was expecting the same fate as what roll number 5 got. "One and a half", he said. Oooph... I was so relieved. I didnt get a zero. The paper distribution continued, and more and more people got added up to "Roll number 5 club" with the entry crieterion to be having "zero". Ironically, roll number 1 was the topper in that exam, as was he in many more exams after that. But that day I realised the power of relativity. Eventhough I failed miserably in the paper, I was relieved that I was not the worst. There were a whole a whole lot of "zeroites" who gave me comfort internally.

A nostalgic walk down memory...

2006-11-06T14:55:00.002+05:30

After a long time I saw a Malayalam movie in a multiplex last Saturday. The name of the movie is "CLASSMATES". Well, as the name says, its all about a bunch of people who were classmates and where they are 15 years after their association in college ended. The movie was good.. But what made it more interesting was that it gave me memories of the past. The days when we were in college. Many of the things that were depicted in the movie, I could correlate them to things that either happened to me, or to someone whom I knew. After a long time, this movie made me think about those days.

Looking back, those days were good.. No unwarranted tensions in life, lots of smiles and laughter. There was an air of innocence with all of us. But then as the times have flown bye, that innocence has also gone away. The smiles on our lips got replaced by blubbering on trivial things in life. Laughter gave way to shouting and fights. We have lost the capability of smiling and laughing with that touch of innocence. Maybe the the life style that we endure these days forces us to be in that way. Everything looks artificial.

Nostalgia is a beautiful thing in life, since it more often than not brings back the good things back into the memory. In that sense, this movie was nostalgic. There was a sense of naiveity in everything that the college going guys were doing, and it came up as a pleasant surprise that the same naiveity was present in me as well during my times in college. That night I remembered my "classmates", my friends in college. Sad that it required a movie to remember them though..

Champions Trophy - A Disaster for Asian Cricketing Nations

2006-10-29T11:45:00.002+05:30

Its always a foregone conclusion that whenever there is cricketing tournament that is held in the sub-continent, the countries that form the power-4 in the ICC - India, Pakistan, Srilanka and Bangaladesh are expected to fare well. Especially when the tourney is held in the new "home of cricket" India, where three out of the power-4 have a good record, one would expect atleast two of them to be there in the last four. But this year's Champion's trophy has been more than anything else a bit of a revalation. Are the tigers loosing their teeth even at their background? With just one more match to go - the most eagerly awaited India - Australia game before the semifinals, three out of the four Asian nations - Pakistan, Srilanka and Bangladesh have already packed their bags. India will also join its neighbours if they dont win today at Mohali against the world champions Australia. Given the fact that we have'nt won against the Aussies for the last 34 months, the chances look bleak. Moreover the last match that was played in Mohali - the South Africa v Pakistan game gace clear indication that its kind of a foreign pitch compared to the ones encountered in the sub continent. Hence chances of India going through to the last four looks lesser and lesser by the day. Add to that is the injuries for couple of key Indian players.

But the bottom line is, why did such a disaster happen to the Asian nations. Few arguments are flying around, the most prominent being that the matches were played in sub-standard wickets, where toss was critical. I am not in favour of this premise. For God's sake, these are international players, with averages touching the 40s and 50s. I personally feel that they have got spoilt after playing in flat wickets, where the bowlers are rendered impotent, and the batsmen can just plant their foot forward and play. Once they encountered a wicket that provided some assistance to the bowlers, they were caught napping. Some of the so called great players of the modern era exibited some shocking technique while they batted. Its well known that most of the top order batsmen in contemprory cricket have got their averages boosted up by playing the likes of Zimbabwe, Kenya Bangladesh, Canada, Scotland, and God knows what all other countries are there. It will be very interesting to see their averages if you remove the runs they have scored against these minnows. Some of the so called greats are pretty ordinary when they play in helpful conditions. Thats perhaps the biggest revaltion we have got out of this tourney. Unfortunately the sub continent batsmen were the most exposed. And as they say, batsmen win you matches.

Of the four Asian teams, Srilanka perhaps were the best of the lot. They had a bit of bad luck - the dew getting the better of them against Pakistan. But they have been the team that was the most impressive. Pakistan with all the controversies they had before they started the tournament, were not expected to go a great deal. Bangaldesh were always the whipping boys against better teams. The biggest disappointment was the performance of the hosts India. Big things were expected from this team. But they have disappointed all their fans by the way they have played. There is chance for them to reddem their pride if they manage to get the better of the Aussies. Can the Indians keep the Asian flag flying? Or will it be an embarassment for the Power-4 in World Cricket? Today's match will give us the answers.

The Budha effect

2006-06-17T18:35:00.002+05:30

Few days back there was a nation wide strike called by the left to protest against the price hike of oil. Needless to say, when the strike is called by an organisation that has roots only in just three states in this nation, the impact of the strike was expected to be in only these three states. Ironically all these three states - West Bengal, kerala and Tripura is governed by the Left themselves. Thus we have a strange situation where the government who is expected to facilitate the free movement of life, is supporting the obstruction of normal life. But if anyone was expecting life to be completely paralysed in states where the left is in power, they were in for a pleasant surprise. Two of the states - Kerala and Tripura went by convention. Life came to a standstill, and free movement of people and vehicles were obstructed. But bengal decided to think other wise.

Umm... big surprise indeed. There were only some token protests. Life went on as normal. Schools were open, businesses ran, and people were in the streets. At the same time, Kerala and Tripura went to a complete standstill. Why did Left in Bengal go the other way, while the ones in Kerala and Tripura went the orthodox way? That brings us to what the modern day political analysts in the country calling as "Left going Right". All of this as to be attributed to one individual - the Chief Minister of Bengal Budhadeb Bhattacharya. He is a chief minister with the highest approval ratings in the country. No wonder why. He has changed the way Bengal is thinking.

Earlier it was said that "what Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow". For a state that has a large number of intellectuals, this statement was very apt. But everything changed after indipendence. We had a generation of Bengalis who were prisoners of ideology. At one point of time, we had to restate the earlier statement as "what Bengal thinks today, rest of India had thought couple of years back". Then came Budha. The smiling intellectual CM, who was bent upon changing things for the state. In the company of some outstanding ministers he started the ardeous task of turning the Bengal economy around. He realised that the future lies in being at "Left of center" in political ideology, rather than being in the "extreme left". He openly invited foreign direct investment, and wooed capitalists the way even the most ardent critic of his would admire. Services sector started to boom in Calcutta. People working in this sector started pumping money into the local economy, and the entire economic structure started gathering momentum. When the left won the recent assembly elections, the media called it as "Budha is smiling". This was one elections where the Left fought on the back of its ultra-popular CM, and won by a landslide. This gave Budha the confidence to go ahead with his agenda of growth of the state, the example of which was there to be seen when the nationwide strike was reduced in stature to a token strike. When asked about the difference in the way Lft in Bengal and Kerala took the strike, Budha had a very correct answer. Bengal left felt that token strike was more advantageous that wa full-fledged one, and Kerala comrades would have found some advantage for going in for an absolute one.

The fact of the matter is that Budha clearly knows that he cant go back to the old ways of strikes if he wants to drive home a services based economy. The sad part is that the comrades in kerala does'nt seem to take this idea. Sad.. Really sad.. But Budha has defenitely charted a way forward for the Left to have a sustainable future in Indian polity. Its upto the rest of his comrade friends to decide on the way forward. Hope some sense prevails amoungst the other comrades..

Indian football - a slow death for something never born

2006-06-17T17:34:00.002+05:30

The world cup football is in full swing. As the entire world is glued into the TV sets watching the spectacle unfold, India is joining the band-wagon. Couple of days back, I saw a discussion in one of the news channels on Indian football. The topic of discussion was whether India would be able to qualify for the football world-cup finals any time in the near future. An absolute waste of time - one would feel, given the current state of Indian football. Its a matter of shame that India with its huge population is unable to create a half-decent football team that could at least mount a challenge on football in Asia. The last time I saw the FIFA rankings, India were in the 120s. Disgusting is the word I would call for that. For a nation of 110 cores, where every small beauty contests finds a sponsor, its absurd that the National football League of the country finds it very hard to get a sponsor. So where does the blame lie?

A top-down approach for problem identification shows that the problem starts with the Football Federation itself. We have a politician Priyaranjan Das Munshi at the top of the All India Football federation. He happens to be a minister in the union cabinet as well. He has to be a super-human to manage both these things, which he clearly isn't. One will have to doubt that he is clinging on to that post just as an ego issue, and there is nothing that makes Mr.. Munshi passionate about football. if you look at his tenure, Indian football has gone nowhere. We are now been beaten by teams like Maldives, which has lesser population that a small district in Kerala. Where is the accountability for this abysmal state of affairs of Indian football? Politicians are known to be thick-skinned, and Mr.. Munshi is no different. If you ask him about the state of Indian football, he somehow sees a bright future of bright football. Just that no one else in this country can comprehend on how he is managing to see something like this. As a first step, he should quit. People who are incapable of delivering results even after an extended period of time should give way to someone who has innovative thoughts on taking the game forward. At least we wont be trading through the same old disastrous ways which were taking us nowhere. Then comes the State associations. Like the national governing body for football, this too is in a real mess. Professional people should come in the helm of affairs of state football. Only then there is hope.

Another big culprit is the the way the National Football League run in the country. By no stretch of imagination can you call it as a professional league. In the last NFL, we had an instance when one of the clubs that formed the part of the League walked away half way. That too on the basis of one contentious result in the League. That's the biggest epitome of how unprofessionally this football league is run. Either we need to run the league in a professional way, where there is good infrastructure and facilities, or just scrap it. We don't need a league for the sake of having one. Conditions of some of the grounds where the matches are played are absolutely appalling. The Federation were unable to find a sponsor for may editions of the NFL, and very rarely were the matches telecasted on TV. How the federation is expecting a surge in the popularity of the game is as wild as anything. Whatever interest we are seeing in the game now is due to the streaming of matches from the English Premier League and other leagues of Europe. Just like cricket kept on producing iconic figures that became role models for generations to follow, football should also make icons. Live television is an absolute necessity for creation of national icons in football. Sadly neither the broadcasters, nor the administrators are very much keen on this.

So are the things that bad? Maybe it is. But there are signs of change as well. After a long time a non-Goan, non-Bengali club - Mahindra United won the NFL. That's a clear sign that the stranglehold that Goan and Calcutta clubs had on India football is slowly going off. That in a way is good for the growth of football in the country. Recently there was a survey on one of the national newspapers that said that football is the fastest growing sport in the country. Maybe that is the last hope for survival for Indian football. A concerted effort from the administrators and the football lovers in this country can help in an explosion in popularity of the game. All it requires is for someone to think out of the box. But then, can the current administration do it? I doubt...

Rahul Mahajan - "One more to list of spoilt sons of famous parents??"

2006-06-07T21:30:00.002+05:30

Back to blogging after quite some time. Looked for some subject to write on. Looked at ibnlive.com to see whats it thats making big in the news circles these days. I generally visit this website atleast once a day. For the last couple of days, its been all about Rahul Mahajan, son of the former BJP leader Pramod Mahajan and his exploits in his father's official residence along with its aftermath. Well, since the media is going ga-ga on this, I thought it should be something significant.

The primary question that I have for the media is whether there is any difference between Rahul and any other citizen in this country. He has committed a crime and should be treated in the same way as any other criminal in this country. Yesterday while I was browsing the channels on TV, I saw a news anchor asking to one of the correspondents whether Rahul is given any special treatment in the jail. Absolute crap. Why on earth should he be given a special treatment? Just that he is a spoilt son of a promising leader who passed away just a month back. The media is looking for sensationalism on every possible opportunity. This is one bad side of the growing competition in the television news media space. Definitely the quality of the news that we get to see on a daily basis has improved with competition. But the public could be spared of this unwarranted sensationalism.

Coming back to Rahul, soon after the death of his father, whatever I saw on TV made me believe that this is a every composed guy, who has taken the family disaster well in his stride. But boy, looks deceive. He has turned out to be a spoilt son of a famous father. How many stories like this we have heard be it - be it Manu Sharma in the Jessica Lall case or Vikas Yadav in the Nithish Khattara murder. There are lots of spoilt sond of famous parents. Maybe in the mad rush for personal glory, the parents have forgotten their commitment to their kids. Probably Rahul is the latest entrant to this list.

I have no intentions of calling Rahul guilty before the courts proclaim him as guilty. But all the evidences that have surfaced out point to that. Hope the Delhi Police who has a notorious reputation of making a farce out of investigations in high-profile cases, does something good and the truth comes out - be it convicting or acquitting Rahul Mahajan. Hope we never get to see a situation like the one faced during the verdict of the Jessica Lall murder case, when the judge said that he knows that its Manu Sharma who killed her, but the police hasn't give enough evidence to support the case. One thing that this country requires a lot is a sudden end to the illicit nexus between the police and the people in the highs posts, whereby they are given a blanket cover for all activities that they do.

Rang De Basanti - An awesome experience

2006-02-06T19:38:00.002+05:30

Yesterday I went to see "Rang De Basanti". Boy, that was some movie. I have never seen such a good movie for a long time. The last good movie that I saw was "Black" which had stellar performances from Rani Mukharjee and Amithab bachan. If "Black" was all about stunning individual performances, "Rang De Basanti" is all about a bunch of actors coming together and creating a masterclass artistry on the silver screen. To be honest, I got overwhelmed after watching the movie. Normally after the movie there is a lot of hungama that happens in the movie hall, lots of chatter.. lots of noise. For the first time, I saw pin-drop silence in the hall once the movie was over. It was almost as if everyone was hit upon by something, and everyone is trying to recover from the impact. I had that feeling. The movie asks a lot of questions to us. Questions for which answers are very hard to get. There they were, a bunch of guys overwhelmed by an emotion of synicism towards the nation. The transformation that happens to these bunch of guys - from being cynical to being a patriot in every sense of the word, is an absolute stunner. One another thing that captured my imagination was the way in which they could correlate the iconic Bhagat Sing and co. with this bunch of Delhi University students. To say the least its was impeckable. There was no bravado from any of the actors on screen. They played their part well, all of them complimenting, with slick editing skills and photography and stunning music made this movie an experience to remember. Cuddos to the director and the entire team.

After watching the movie and coming back, my friend asked me "Do you think we are doing anything for the country?" That for me was the biggest achievement of the movie.

Sonia Gandhi - The nation's choice??

2006-01-28T16:03:00.002+05:30

A couple of days back, on CNN-IBN, they were running something called "State of the nation" poll. They claimed that it is some way to measure the puse of the great nation that we live in. Nice concept.. I liked it.. Maybe this is the effect of the very tight competion amoung the news channels that we have in India today. Invariably the survival of the news channel these days is dependent on novelty in a big way. Good for the viewers anyway.

There were a few of things that really made me take a note of in those polls. The Day 1 was dedicated to politics. The biggest surprise came when they declared that Sonia Gandhi is the nation's preffered choice of prime minister with 24%, forllowed by vajpayee with 20%. This is perhaps for the first time that Sonia has got ahead of Vajpayee in the approoval ratings. I was never a great admirer of Mrs. Gandhi. I felt that her "inner voice" was nothing but acceptance of reality that she is not good enough to be the PM, spiced with a bit of theatrics. But all credit for her for converting it into such a block-buster. All of a sudden she has attained a stature of a Devi-ma. But it is staggering to see that she is still the nation's preffered choice for PM. Maybe the retirement of vajpayee from active politics has got to do with it. Its really sad to see that the third person in the list and my choice Dr. Manmohan Sing could garner only 9%. I firmly believe that he is the best person to be the PM. Dr. Sing has never been a mass leader. He is some sort of a statesman. That is good for him as well. because the moment his popularity gets ahead of Mrs. Gandhi, the so called Congress loyalists will give him an exit path.

I feel that there is something more underlying to Mrs. Gandhi's rise to the top than just sleak marketing. On the new year's eve, NDTV in a different survey rated her as the Indian of the year. News channels were calling her as the most powerful person in India today. Its always worth digging into why things are like this. I maynot like her, but there is a whole lot of people in this country who likes her. Thats perhaps where the urban-rural divide has a part to play. The act of renunciation of Mrs. Gandhi maybe theatrics for the urban population like me. But in rural India, that was very well taken into the hearts. In the hindsight, I would have to say that it was kind of a master-stroke from Sonia. She will now live in history as perhaps the only person who rejected power when it was easly available in front of her. It will be really interesting to see if she remains as the "Indian of the year" in 2006 and whether she remains the nation's first choice for PM in the next "State of the Nation" poll slated to be in six months time from now.

Unseen Magic from Mr. Potter

2005-11-23T12:05:00.002+05:30

Yesterday I went to see the latest of the Harry Potter series: "Harry Potter - The Globlette of Fire". I had never read a Harry Potter book or seen a harry Potter movie. But boy, this one was good. The special effects in particular was the one that attracted me the most. No wonder kids love this movie series. The story was very much in the expected lines, with no major unexpected turn-arounds throughout the movie. Afterall thats how kids movie should be. They should always have good victorious over the evil. Maybe that will enforce a sense that being good is "cool". I really like the way in which the entire movie was taken. At no point of time do we feel that the movie is dragging. For a movie that spans for about 2.5 hours, that is an amazing thing to have. Kids just love this movie. It was a weekday yesterday and we expected no big crowds for this movie. But surprisingly it was houseful. Now I realise why. Its too good a movie to be missed by the kids. And interestingly, more than half of the auditorium was filled by families. And that gave a different viewpoint for me. Even in this age, where everyone is too hectic, these kind of movies gives an opportunity for the family to stay together, eventhough for a small period, which I believe is absolutely vital for the development of the kids. Hence Harry Potter is doing much more than ringing in the box-offices and increasing the bank balance of the producers. It in a way is a small effort to bring back something good, that was gradually fading away in this hectic world - the family sticking together and finding time for eachother. That is yet another magic from the the young wizard "Harry Potter". So lets all say "Hail Harry Potter!!!"

The fear of the unknown..

2005-11-22T15:28:00.002+05:30

To do.. or not to do.. Thats a dilemma that comes into each of our minds many a times in the life. We as individuals always find it difficult to take that final step. That step which would take you to an entirely different world, where the challenges are different. Why does this happen all so often in our lives? That is one question I have asked myself a lot of times. But never was I able to get an answer for that. maybe you can attribute it to the "fear of the unknown". Or maybe to the basic human nature of not to disturb something that is working now. The present scenario may be having problems. But atleast we know what the problems are and how they can be tackled. But a new world with an entirely new set of problems for which we don't have solutions is a bit scary in itself. Maybe this element of fear is the one that holds back most of us from venturing into the unknown. And anyone who understands the problems and still go forward is the real brave man.

Bihar - A New Beginning?

2005-11-21T12:50:00.002+05:30

Finally it seems the jungle-raj in Bihar is coming to an end. Atleast the first round of the battle for Bihar (read as exit polls for the Bihar elections 2005) have decisively gone against the Laloo-Rabri rule. But these exit polls needs to be taken in with a pinch of salt. How many times in the recent past have we seen exactly the oppossite happening in the elections as compared to what the exit polls predict.

Whatever be it, it wont be a decisive mandate for either of the two combinations in the fray. Clearly, Bihar has not gained anything with this elections. But the simple electoral arithmetic in Bihar means that the electorate is so much fractured that it is virtually impossible for any combination to even hope for a decisive mandate. The mandate there is invariably decided by the caste and not by performance. Thats perhaps the most unfortunate part of elections in Bihar. Over the past few elections that have happened in Bihar, invariably its been the combination that got its arithmetic right ending up victorious. In hind-sight, we could easly say that this particular trend in Bihar politics is the reason for the backwardness of the state. Its a proven fact that when any other crieteria other than merit is used for selection of an entity, it invariably ends up in disaster.

I am not expecting the new government to do anything dramatic that will change the backwardness of the state. Atleast it will be a new start. Whether the new start leads to improvement or not... only time will tell. For now there is an opportunity to change the direction for the new government. Whether it will take the new path or not, your guess is as good as mine.. Afterall we are talking about Bihar...

Indian Cricket now - Smiles and a Small Debate

2005-11-15T12:09:00.002+05:30

The wait is over. At last India has won a one-day series at home after almost three years. What makes it so special are two things - one the ruthlessness with which we managed to beat the Srilankans who came to India as the second best ODI team in the world. Very rarely does we get to see a series score line of 6-1. It has actually happened only twice - on both occasions, the South Africans under their charismatic yet tainted captain Hansie Cronje did it on both occasions. The second aspect of the series win is more important. This is perhaps the first time that there was no single star in an emphatic series win for India. Usually we have a Tendulkar or a Ganguly or a Dravid or a Sehwag who used to bat well through the series and enable India win the series. For a change (a refreshing one I should admit) we didnt have a single player who dominated the series eventually resulting in India winning the series. We had the young brigade - the Dhonis, the rainas, the Pathans, the R.P. Sings, the Gambhirs, the Sreesanths all coming into the fore and hilping India win matches. Though the presence of stallwarts like Dravid, Tendulkar and Sehwag cant be ignored. But at the end of the day, to be a succesful team in cricket, what is required is all the members chipping in. And refreshingly for the first time in Indian cricket, that happened during this series.

Is it the end of the star system in Indian cricket? For the good of Indian cricket, I hope it is. For long we have lived through the baggage of the so-called non-performing stars. Greg Chappell's mantra of "perform or perish" seems to be working well. No longer is it possible to stay in the Indian team on the basis of hundreds made years back. In a way that is good for Indian cricket.

There is huge debate going on in this country on whether Ganguly should be back in the Indian team or not. To be honest, I don't think he deserves a place in the current Indian setup based on his present form. His form over the last couple of years has been nothing but woefull. His pain-staking century in Bulowayo against what could very much be called as a school boy bowling attack and his revalation to the outside world that there is problem in the dressing room with a cheshire cat smile on his face did'nt do any favour for his reputation as both a captain and as a player. I dont buy the argument that you should never loose the sight on the 10,000 odd runs he made in ODIs and 5000 odd runs he made in tests. What I would like to see is Ganguly coming back into the team just on merit.. just by scoring tons of runs in domestic cricket. I dont want to see a champion of a player to be in the team just for the sake of it.. rather than for him being needed in the team.

Curse of India..

2005-11-15T10:09:00.002+05:30

Yesterday I was watching some news channel and a discussion was on. They were debating about a jail-break in Bihar (is that any surprise!!!). The anchor of the show was asking to the panelists.. who should be held responsible for the jail-break.. the jail authorities.. the government.. the police.. the district administration.. Wow.. That was when I realised that there are so many responsible people around to look after the citizens of this great country. Come-on.. give me a break.. Responsibilty.. and in this country.. and especially in Bihar which is widely refered to as India's "Wide Wild West". How can any sensible person expect someone in Bihar to take responsibilty to whatever law and order problems that happen in Bihar. By the way, does the admistration in Bihar know about what law and order is. Whatever is happening in Bihar is an absolute disgrace to what India is aiming to achieve in the future. In a state where booth capturing during elections is the ultra-modern technology that kids are made to learn first-up, where looting is the main source of income, where goonda-raj is the day-to-day way of life, where slavery is still predominant, how can we expect someone to take responsibilty for a law-and-order disaster.

Its an absolute pity to see leaders from Bihar not willing to accept the ground realities. In a way they represent the modern day Indian politicians, who is least bothered about what happens to the idiots (read as electorate) who elects them. The roads can no longer be called as roads but as a unique collection of pot-holes. Safe drinking water is perhaps the most scarce thing available. One needs to just hope that he will be safely back at home if he is going out in the night. Even if all these situations prevail, the leaders would like the idiots (again read as electorate) to believe that everything is well and good. If at all they admit that there is a problem, they are very quick to point the balme on others. They have numerous arguments like central government's negligence to the state and all the other crap. When will these people come out of their courtery and see the real people and understand their problems? Only then will we have solutions to the problems that we face. Till then, idiots (electorate) enjoy the blame game...

spice in life

2005-11-07T21:17:00.003+05:30

There are certain things in character of each individual which makes him different from the rest. You can call it as a biometric trait or something. Some part of his character that makes that particular individual do things in a different way compared to what others would do. Others might see that behavior as insane or foolish. But if it works well for a particular individual, he or she should never get rid of it. Some people thrive under pressure. If there is no pressure, they feel as if the challenge is not there. The challenge spurs them on to do things in the best way possible for them. And to get that challenge, he or she may artificially create the pressure around. Somebody from outside may think "why is this idiot doing things in this way, when it can be done in lot simpler ways". But they dont realise that its the way in which he does it enables him to do it that way. You can call it as the most insane way to describe a foolish activity.

We as individuals need to find what is best for each one of us. Which is the best way in which we can get things done effectively and more importantly enjoy what we do. Identiftying that aspect of human behavior is what the ultimate aim of life is. If we as individuals cant identify what is good for each one of us, there is no point in blaming others about our problems. The way one individual finds as comfortable, may not be making any sense of a second person. Had all people been thinking on the same lines, where does the individualism of each of us come into picture? This would have been a dry world of clones. The difference in behavioral traits of individuals makes this world Oh-so-beautiful. There is diversity everywhere. I will go to the extend that the chaos is what defines the beauty of the world.

But then there is the question of organisation, planning, discipline.. all of which the so-called management gurus keep on talking. Theories were derrived and books were written on these subjects. Is there no relevence for them? Well, I believe its all about achieving the equilibrium - fine balance between the chaotic part of the individual's behavior and the discipline that needs to be instilled for smooth sailing. The chaos allows you to enjoy life to the fullest. You cry when things are not going your way. You are thrilled to bits when you see the successful outcome of what you are doing, staring at your face. Its this set of emotions that comprise the spice of life. And just like food, life without spice is very boring. The discipline part makes sure that you have alternate plans if any of the plans that you are currently involved in goes for a toss. Discipline again helps you to be level-headed. It helps you to take successes and failiures in the same frame of mind. But then where is the thin line that separates the two of them? I defenitely dont want to be some sort of a robot who will go by plans derrived by someone. At the same time I dont want to be so much out of sync that it disturbs the plans of others. Well, the key lies in being chaotic in the plans charted out. Go for aggressive schedules yourself, even if they they can be met easly with the plans given to you. Challenge yourself to the limit and see how good you are at the extremes. The sheer joy and emotion that flows out once you achieve the near-impossible is too good to be missed out. Hence the key lies in being chaotic under the umbrella of discipline. But hey, chaos and discipline are literally oppossite, is'nt it? Thats what I would call the "spice in life".